I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. –Henry David Thoreau
Our little cabin in the woods. Tiny.A warm welcome Breathtakingly blue sky
The building in the middle is the lodge, a haven with connections to the civilized world. Can you say Wi Fi? Building on the left is the ladies bathroom and wash house. Camping at it’s best. Yahhhhhh.
A random heart shaped rock
What a delight to be walking down the sandy path to the ladies bathroom and stumble upon this lovely message from the universe. I think it was trying to tell me to just give in and love the Northwoods.
If I could go anywhere, I’d pack up and jump on a plane for France. My vacation would entail 3 weeks of pure French bliss.
I’d love to spend half of that time in Paris just visiting all the typical Parisian sites like the Eiffel tower, and meticulously exploring the Louvre. I’d spend time shopping the brocante sales, flea-markets and antique shops. I’d eat outdoors in little French cafes.
I’d love to visit places where French painters used to go to create their masterpieces, like the Moulin Rouge. During the second half of my dream getaway, I’d spend it in the South of France where we could see the beautiful scenery, lie down in a field of lavender and visit quaint little towns that have been around for hundreds of years. I’m hoping this vacation will happen for me in the next 4 years.
Last Saturday marked the beginning of year 30 (or maybe more) of my yearly vacation to the same family camp we always go to waaay up in the North Woods of Wisconsin. It is beautiful up here- crystal lakes, towering pine trees, blue skies and little vacation cabins peppered in along the shorelines. Of course, I do manage to do my share of complaining. There are way too many mosquitoes, we spend a week in our little cabin that is way too cramped for our large family, and my main gripe- “why can’t we ever go anywhere else?” Most of my kids love it up here and my husband does, too; his mother started bringing him up here when he was 12. It’s a family tradition. Now, how can I really go and break that?
Like the good sport I am, after I do my bit of bitching I get on with my life and try to make the best of it. I make an honest attempt to try to pull as much positive I can from everything I do. Today, for instance, while my husband and 3 boys went on a 4 hour canoe trip without me (thank the good lord) I decided to do something I haven’t done for over 6 years-go swimming in the lake. Over the years, I’ve somehow managed to convince myself I don’t like swimming much. After the rain stopped, I donned my new Lands End swimsuit, grabbed my towel and pfwacked down to the beach in my flip flops. I told myself no matter how cold the water is, I would slowly go in and just do it. No one in my family was there to try to coerce me into the water. This was just me. My goal was to just make peace with the lake and suck from it all the good that I could. I wanted to practice the breast stroke and just become comfortable in the water. My long term aversion to the lake has always been the dilemma of the occasional leech that manages to attach itself to the feet and other body parts of random swimmers. My son got one on his foot when he was a baby and I did a minor freak out when I saw that ugly, flat, worm-like thing stuck to my baby’s foot. Thank goodness for a quick thinking camp director and table salt-it worked like a charm getting that disgusting thing off Jeff’s foot.
What I did today is face my fears. I told myself-the chance is very slim to none that I will end up with a leech and even if I do, it’s not the end of the world. Just get up your nerve and make peace with the lake. So I did. I walked in, withstood the temporary cold of the initial plunge and went on to have a most enjoyable hour by myself, just me and Big Crooked. I swam back and forth about 10 times from the shallow beach ropes to the deep ropes and put the thought of a leech out of my mind. I let the goodness and serenity of the lake seep deep into my soul and calm me while it’s watery arms held me. And for the first time in a long, long time, I allowed the lake to become my friend.
Just for fun I included hyperlinks to Youtube for certain things…hop over and enjoy.
51. I want to be a successful artist some day, earning enough from the sale of my art to support myself and my family.
52. My very favorite scene from a movie is the finale of Dirty Dancing. I get goosebumps every time and my heart never ceases to skip a beat when I see them together. I just love the way Patrick Swayze looks at her when he holds her…absolute sweetness. Time of My Life is one of my all time favorite songs, probably because I think of this scene.
53. Currently, I’m slightly obsessed with ‘Grey Gardens’ (thank you Rhonda for that one, lol). Don’t ask me why, I couldn’t tell you if I tried.
54. One of the things I love the most about my house is the lovely towering weeping willow in my back yard. The black birds love to sit in the top branches….its such a sight.
55. I think the Tibetan Fox is so enchanting and has the sweetest face. He is my next favorite animal after dogs, cats and birds. “But why the square head?”
56. New York City is one of my favorite places in the world.
58. If I had endless amounts of cash, I’d rent or buy an apartment and live there part time with my daughter.
59. I think the country is nice, but the city is where it’s at.
60. The older I get, the more I’d rather be the guest than the hostess.
61. I spend a great deal of my idle time reading, whether it be a book, magazine, computer printout or webpage. I love reading and finding things out.
62. I love finding people from my past on Facebook.
63. One of my favorite smells is that of a fresh, dry, Lipton Tea bag.
64. When I was 17 or 18, I used to baby sit for a Chicago cop named Ralph and his wife. The children were his wife’s from her first marriage. Ralph used to drive me home at night when I was done babysitting. He always used to try to seduce me in his little car on the way home. He never succeeded with me but five or six years later after I was married, I saw his mugshot on the 10 O’Clock News. He he had been arrested for sexual molestation. Geeze, what a surprise. Freak.
65. I wish my name was Charlotte.
66. I absolutely love the show Sex and the City. My favorite scene is this one. Well, maybe this one, too.
67. I met Chris Noth (Mr. Big) at his bar in NYC.
68. He was a total ASS towards me.
69. He sent me a hand written letter of apology.
70. I forgave him, lol.
71. Regardless, I still think he’s the most absolute delicious flavor of MANCAKE.
72. I’m terrified of high heights.
73. Swimming in a lake doesn’t thrill me.
74. Swimming in the ocean scares the hell out of me.
75. I love to hang out with my girlfriends.
76. A friend who shares my love of art and sewing makes my heart happiest.
77. I have 5 kids-each was planned, not a surprise.
78. I’m a little nervous about getting older and aging. I want to keep youthful in all aspects of my life. I’m gonna be a hip old crone.
79. I have a small collection of white ironstone pitchers.
80. I love the farmhouse/cottage look.
81. I’d rather have an old farmhouse than a new house that lacks character. I could so live here.
82. I prefer the ocean to mountains.
83. One of the coolest things I ever witnessed was the Balloon Fiesta held in Albuquerque, NM. Talk about colorful and spectaculiar!
84. I’d love to go back to the Sleepy Hollow Cemetery in Massassachusets and do gravestone rubbings of all the famous/historical graves.
85. Romantic comedies are my movie of choice. I also love movies like Sense and Sensibility-Historical movies.
86. I love Ugly Betty and Will & Grace. Mark and Jack (two hilarious gay guys) my favorites, keep me in stitches.
87. I don’t need fancy stuff to be happy.
88. I just want to live simply, but don’t you take away my central air conditioning.
89. My caloric weakness’ are: Coffee creamers, bread and butter and (sometimes) sweets. Well, rice pudding!
90. I get creepy vibes when I go to antique shops. It feels like I pick up bad vibes from the spirits of the people who used to own all that junk.
91. I’d love to go to England for a month and just blend in with the locals, going to tag/ rummage sales and flea markets in search of authentic souvineers.
92. I’d also love to go to Paris for an extended period of time and take art classes there.
93. I’d love to learn how to make handmade paper and use it in my collage. I made paper once at a museum and was fascinated by it.
94. I think State Parks are boring. Yawn.
95. I hate camping.
96. I’m not particularily attached to any objects except I really like my metal cake stand that I found after I saw it in Country Home Magazine in a feature spread on Carrie Raphael. I researched it and hunted it down and found it!
THAT is my cake stand.
97. The last book I read that deeply moved me was Eat Pray Love.
98. Speaking in front of an audience makes me so nervous, I lose my train of thought and my mind goes blank…I can’t handle it.
99. No matter what I do or how successful I get I always think I’m somehow not good enough.
I am splitting this into two days worth-50% today and the rest tomorrow.
1. I have a fairly large group of friends who’ve been around since grammer school days.
2. At this point in my life (47), I feel like I’m 18 again in that I’m still trying to find myself.
3. I seem to attract people who talk a lot.
4 I think this may be because I am a better listener than a conversational contributor.
5. I am a bit self-conscious at times when someone ‘yields the floor’ to me.
6. One of my negative traits is I have a tendency to tell people how to live their lives and am a bit put off if they don’t take my advise.
7. I need to stop doing this, sometimes my mouth gets me in hot water. But, I’m getting much better. Most of the time I resist the urge all together to say things I shouldn’t.
8. My husband calls me a ‘Rabble Rouser’. Probably because I’m always putting in my two cents.
9. I tend to be overly sensitive (at times) and don’t take criticism very well unless it’s something I really don’t care about.
10. I am a thin, svelt woman housed in a plus sized body. How did that happen?
11. Considering how thin I feel, I’m amazed to see a large woman staring back at me in photographs or the in mirror.
12. While driving, I’m constantly looking in the rear view mirror checking my hairline for grey hairs. I’m hoping they’ll be white. Everytime I check, there’s more and more of them.
13. I don’t have dainty lady feet. I was blessed with extra large size 11 wide complete with two hammer toes. Not fair.
14. I enjoy doing laundry, especially if I can catch the washer on the rinse cycle so I can quickly add the fabric softner. I love the smell of clothes rinsed in Downy.
15. I’m not so good, however at putting the laundry away after its folded. I don’t like that part.
16. I love shopping at Trader Joes. There is just something about that store that makes my heart so happy I equate it with the satisfying feeling of having an adequately stocked pantry.
17. My favorite articles of clothing are my cropped black yoga pants. I live in them. Besides, they show off my skinny ankles, lol.
18. I love white Keds, but they’re not as cute on me because my feet are too big.
19. I used to be a spontaneous person. Middle age has changed all that.
20. Now I must have a daily routine and have adequate warning of upcoming, unexpected events.
21. I am more aware of my faults as I age and am more willing to analyze them and work on changing them.
22. I very much would love to get a tattoo.
23. What’s holding me back is the fear of the pain. I suppose I’m a big baby.
24. I believe in God and keep a prayer journal. I believe He works on me via the things I write to Him.
25. I can go for weeks at a time and not write in my prayer journal. Me bad.
26. If there’s something I want, I can usually think of a way to get it.
27. I’m outstanding at improvising a tool.
28. I have a penchant for black umbrellas.
29. I absolutely hate when my socks get wet or when I accidentally stand on a wet rug or wet towel in bare feet.
30. I snore-bad.
31. I seriously, absolutely love and adore my golden retriever.
32. My soul has always ‘pulled’ me toward New England. To just think of the east coast makes my heart have a yearning for it.
33. I must have lived on the east coast in a past life. Maybe I was a whaler’s daughter.
34. I have a terrible aversion to having my neck squeezed or seeing someone in a horror movie get their neck slit. I must have died of a neck injury in that past life.
35. I really loved the book Jane Eyre.
36. I think Mr. Rochester was sexy.
37. I wish I were as wise and put together as Elizabeth Gilbert.
38. I hate my chin-or should I say ‘chins’. I need a longer neck..(don’t get any ideas, see # 34)
39. I like to stay home.
40. I’ve come to realize going out is more effort than its worth.
41. I don’t have agoraphobia.
42. I’m just lazy.
43. I hate the thought of exercising, but after I do I’m so happy.
44. I love avacados. Absolutely. Love. Them.
45. Red is my favorite color.
46. I have been sleeping in a water bed for the last 20 years.
47. I am bored of it and want an old fashioned, overpriced pillowtop mattress.
This is a response to a “blog challenge” from the leader of 14 Secrets, Lani, who you can find here. We are to answer nine questions with art or photography. If you’d like to take part in this little bit of blogging fodder, link back and direct us to your answers. Here are my attempts at answering without words, but simply in photos.
Who Are you?
and…
What do you love about where you live?
and….
What might your perfect afternoon look like…
and…
If you had an hour alone in your creative space what would you do?
I am so delighted! I just happened upon Craigslist the other night and I found this easel. It is a vintage French easel and it’s in perfect shape. What is nice about it is it folds up to become a carrying box that will hold painting supplies, too-perfect for travel.
The guy was also selling left over things from a past rummage sale, and I spotted this framed pastel drawing, so I had to have it for $10.
This inspires me to crank my butt in gear and start painting. As my son Dave says, “Get goin’ on it mom!”
For the last 10 days I have been couch bound, my body uncomfortable with very, very bad back pain. I believe the source of this bad back ache was from overdoing it in preparation for my rummage sale. My son Scott and I were working for a whole week in the basement lifting, sorting, tossing and donating all our extra stuff in an effort to pare down and make the basement more organized and livable. I should have known better. I paid dearly for my efforts. I am just now feeling like my old self again and I can say I am truly grateful for being able to have mobility again and to just do my regular routine. I really understand now what it’s like to be debilitated and it’s not fun. I am going to thank God everyday for being healthy and able to move around. It’s not something to take for granted.
I‘m taking Kelly Rae’s online class “Flying Lessons” with the hope of amping up enough inspiration to breathe some life back into my doll business. I have put so much work, blood sweat and tears into it and have brought it so far. I am guilty of letting it it fall to the wayside. Partially because I have lost interest in it, feeling like I’ve taken it as far as I can, and admittedly not believing in it like I used to. Something has happened to me and I recognize I’ve made a mistake in allowing this to happen. I need to rekindle my creativity and listen to the little whispers that are inside me, nudging me to go ahead and get reaquainted with my art. It’s necessary and a part of me and I honestly don’t feel like myself if I’m not creating something.
My heart is pulling another direction. I have such a strong urge to paint, collage and dabble in canvas art. I want to have an easle in the corner with a canvas propped up on it with a work in progress. I am loving the art of Gritty Jane and Kelly Rae and want that for my self. I know I can do it, I absolutely am confident I can. I just need to take the baby steps to make it happen. My heart pulls are so strong, they are difficult to ignore. The last 10 days of convalescing on the sofa with my back enabled me to pour at length through my collage books and my collection of Cloth Paper Scissors magazines and as a result, I have become infused with inspiration and such an urge to get started.
I have found there are people in my family who just don’t fit. I have had a rather permanent severing of relations with my brother and his family. I know in my heart its for the best. As they say, we can choose our friends but we can’t choose our family. There never was a good fit to our families-always strain, animosity and a lack of love. I believe letting go is for the best. I can feel peaceful in my soul again. I’ve let the squaking caged bird go and I’m definately okay with it.
One last thing for today…I saw the Sex and the City 2 movie yesterday. Despite the bad reviews and reading about people who went and got up and walked out in disgust, I didn’t find it to be that bad. I understand the frivolity was running high and the material excesses were blarringly apparent, but I was able to see through it and find something good I could take from it. There was one scene that immediatly drew me to tears-surprisingly to me, tears that I had a difficult time controlling. At the time I didn’t want my friend or my daughter to see me upset, but I later I explained to them what had happened. The scene that had such an affect on me was when Carrie stayed in her apartment for two days working on her writing. Big called her on the second day and asked her if she’d like to go to dinner and it turned out, just like old times, he was sitting in the limo just below her bedroom window with the limo window rolled down looking up at her like only Chris Noth can. When she got in the car he leaned in and looked at her like he hadn’t seen her in weeks and said “I missed you, Baby” and then pulled her in for a delicious kiss. It was as if an emotional jolt travelled up my spine and out my tear ducts. I didn’t understand at first why this scene made me so emotional. After some thought and discussion, I think it’s because I miss feeling that way. I miss being in love. I miss being missed like that. I miss that consuming feeling of being so desperately in love. It’s truly a feeling that makes you feel so alive, isn’t it? Is it all Hollywood, or is this kind of romance something we can always hope to maintain in our relationships? After 25 years it’s really difficult. What do you think?
It happened again. Last night I had a repeat of an old familiar dream that entails a creepy old house.
In this dream, I’m usually at my first house in Chicago-a huge corner bungalow by Midway Airport. Back when the house was first built, it used to be owned by a doctor who had his practice located right in the house in various rooms on the first floor. When we pulled up the carpets, surprisingly we could see the spots on the hardwood where the examination tables used to sit. I loved this house, because it was filled with mystery, a gigantic full attic and lots of hidey spots.
Now, in my dream I am back in this house on Menard St. and I’m living there quite happily. Invariably I get to a point in the dream where I discover there’s a portion of the house I never knew about, or other times while dreaming I realize there has been a few rooms that have been closed off and I now want to explore them. Always, the prospect of these mysterious rooms leaves me with a haunting feeling. I can’t wait to explore, and yet it’s really ghostly but at the same time, I’m so thrilled to realize I actually own the part of this house that has gone unnoticed all these years.
What thrills me the most when I’m in the full thrall of this dream is the prospect of what these rooms have the potential to be. I have strong hopes of them becoming my art/sewing studio. The feeling I have when I’m viewing these rooms in their full color detail is one of absolute astonishment. How could I not have known these rooms existed? Why didn’t I ever notice the doors that lead to these amazing secret chambers? And most importantly, how can I occupy these rooms and keep them to myself? I’m really selfish when it comes the chance of having a space of my own.
These mysterious rooms of my old house have come to me during sleep and have thrilled me. At other times they’ve scared the hell out of me. One ‘episode’ left me terrified, like I was in a haunted house. Something telekenetically warned me not to open the doors because bad spirits were hold up behind them and once I opened that door, all hell would break lose. Of course, curiosity couldn’t drive me away, and ghostly troubles ensued. Scary as hell troubles caused me to wake up in a cold sweat with a pounding heart. Even still, ghosts and all, I wanted those rooms for my own to develop into a space I have been longing for all this time-an art room.
All this week my son and I have been cleaning the basement getting ready for a rummage sale on Saturday. With any luck, there will be a huge space cleared in the basement and with a little ambition I can whip up a sacred space of my own to spread out where I can allow my creativity to flow. But for now, I look forward to my next sleep when the possibility of those secret rooms will again come to me and set my heart pounding once again for the real thing.
Why Jane 
