Author: Emily

…so said Leonardo Da Vinci.   This is my theme for today’s post.  I thought it would be an  appropriate one since it’s  the day before Black Friday when everyone will be hitting the stores (at the oddest hours), seeking out ‘stuff’ simply because it’s cheap and it satisfies an inate desire to collect new things. 

I’m loving simpler things.  The $20 coffeemaker makes coffee just about as tasty as the $100 model( I know because my expensive one died and as an act of total desperation, I pulled a cheapo Procter Silex out of the garage to brew a pot).  The simpler something  is, the more I love it.  I had an appliance repairman over this past Monday to fix my oven.  Just making conversation, I asked him if the overly expensive appliance models are really better than the cheaper models.  His answer to me was, “KIS- Keep It Simple”.    He told me it’s better to go simple when it comes to appliances (he also revealed to me his light hearted philosphy of marriage…”A happy wife is a happy life.”  Now, there’s a guy with advise you can trust!)   I don’t like gadgets or cars that have all kinds of bells and whistles-never have.  Complicated stuff  just causes me to glaze over with confusion and makes me need a guy to figure it all out.

The other day Glen Beck said that with this economy and the world the way it is that we should all learn to live within our means.  (It’s not like I need Glen to tell me this, I already knew it.  His words just caused me to think more because he hit me at a time when simplicity is really turning me on.  So, in my reality, this advise was very timely.) We should learn something from our grandparents who lived through the Great Depression.  Remember these: Don’t over spend.  Be more frugal in general.  SAVE your money.  Live within your means and that translates into buying a house you can afford.  I was a bit amazed hearing these words from someone on television.  Normally I’m used to the folks on TV encouraging and cajoling me to spend. Spend. SPEND.

I have a serious desire to get back to what’s really important.  Focus on family, friends and a simple home that’s comfortable and affordable, and doing things that are enjoyably inexpensive.   Just have what you need.  Don’t be over indulgent this holiday season.   Supress your desire to acquire. 

I am considering  handmade gifts this year-I enjoy being creative and have the time. 

I find simple ways to keep busy.  I love to read.  Have inexpensive ‘pot luck’ get togethers with friends and play cards or board games and share a meal together where everyone brings something to eat.  Are there other activities you can think of that fall into the simple category?

I have received so much joy from my new puppy Xander.  He makes my heart so happy.  He is truly a simple pleasure.

I really want to start (and finish) my “Sketchbook Project” moleskine journal and send it in so I can participate in this really neat contribution to the art world.  The deadline is Jan 4th to get it in.  I just have to priortize and make it happen.

As a part of my ongoing interest in simplicity, I’d like to walk my dogs more.  If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know that is something I harp on myself about, and continually fail.  I think this is so important, and I just can’t seem to commit to doing this on a daily basis.  What is it gonna take to get myself to cooperate?  Sometimes I find I cause myself all kinds of needless guilt because I don’t keep my promises to myself and I continue to ignore doing what I know is good for me.

Consider a new tradition-A Christmas Jar.  Here’s where to go to read about that.  Start an empty jar from spaghetti sauce or whatever and begin filling it up with spare change.  When Christmas eve comes, find someone who you know is in need this holiday season and give it to them, either annonymously or by presenting it to them.  I think it’s a lovely way to get kids involved in doing something for folks less fortunate and its a simple way to teach them the spirit of giving.

I have been reading The Diary of Ann Frank, and I am thoroughly enjoying it, although, I know I won’t be able to get through it without shedding a few tears.  It breaks my heart that something like this happened to so many people.  Ann and her family left their home to go into hiding with as many clothes as they could wear on their bodies, in the middle of July.  They couldn’t be seen carrying  suitcases.  Can you imagine how hot that must have been for them?   They left their belongings, only bringing what they could carry in backpacks and satchels.  They also left behind Ann’s beloved cat, knowing they’d never see her again.  (I found that excerpt particularily heartwrenching  because it affected Ann so much and she wrote about it with such emotion). When I read things like this, it makes me realize how little people can do without and still live relatively happy lives.  Even in their ‘Secret Annex’ the Frank family was still able to laugh and enjoy life as much as possible despite their meager existance and constant fear of being captured and sent away to a concentration camp.

 Is life richer when you don’t have a lot of ‘stuff’ bogging you down?  It’s certainly something to think about. 

This leads me to one last thing.  I do want a ‘book reader’ device for Christmas.  I can’t help it.  I have my eye on a Nook from Barnes and Noble.  Does this little sweet thing imbue the characteristics of simplicity?  I think so.  I can have all my books in one spot, portable and neatly stored in my device.  This means I can clean up my book stacks and pare down my living space.   I like this idea.  How about you?

Got anything to add to my simple little post?  Let me know.  Talk to me….honest-it’s that simple.

There’s been a lot of talk lately about the impending end of the world with the  year 2012 only two years away.  I’m not so sure about the prophesies and if they will come true, nor am I knowledgeable enough on Mayan history and their calender to even form an opinion.  But, there are some things, that when they happen to me, are a small scale version of ‘the end of the world’.   

It’s the ‘end of the world’ when:

•   I go over to the coffee maker and I’m all ready to pour myself a fresh, hot cup and I look over and realize we are completely out of flavored coffee creamers.
•   I’ve misplaced something I really, really need and no matter how many prayers I send up to St. Anthony, I can’t locate it to save my soul.
•  without even trying I gain weight. 
•  my husband and I have one of our terrible arguments  that I can never seeem to win.
• plans with my girlfriends gets cancelled.  As you can probably guess, I really look forward to being with my friends.
• the internet suddenly isn’t working.
• we run out of coffee.
• someone insults me or makes me feel bad about something I did.
• someone is angry or disappointed in me.
• days and sometimes weeks go by where I don’t get my creative juices flowing with a project or journaling or writing.  This to me is disconcerting.
• I reach for that last piece of chocolate and someone in my family has already beaten me to it.
• my sciatic nerve causes me great pains down the back of my leg and in my butt cheek.
• I go a week or so without walking the dog.  I feel like I’m letting her down, but more importantly, I know I’m cheating myself out of the health benefits of exercise.
•  my friends disappoint me by being thoughtless.
• my dog is sick or lost.
• I look in the mirror and notice a new wrinkle or I seem to look older than I did the last time I caught a glimpse of myself.
• my feet hurt so bad.
• my father died back in 1982.  It’s still the end of the world for me just a little bit everytime I miss him.
• I see a photo of myself and I have a double chin.  I HATE MY no chin-chin.
• I’ve typed a really long email and proceed to accidentally delete it. 
• I bouce multiple checks and seem to be funding the bank  with all the fees they charge me.
• someone dies and and I feel shock and that sense of loss in the pit of my stomach.
• I look forward to House and it gets pre-empted 2 weeks in a row so the network can play the World Series instead.  Arrgh.
• I have car trouble and get stalled somewhere.  I hate feeling helpless and vulnerable.
• the Cubs lose the playoff series and are once again denied any chance of going to the World Series.
• Sex and the City came to an end.  It’s so sad when a series you love is over. 
• I come out of a public restroom and have toilet paper stuck to my shoe or worse, it’s coming out of my pants and trailing out like a tissue paper tail.
• I’m stuck somewhere with nothing to read. 
• my stupidity makes me pay dearly.
• I disappoint my kids and make them feel bad.  (luckily, this doesn’t happen often!)
• after talking to someone, I look in the mirror and notice a visible booger in my nose or a black spot from an oreo cookie on my tooth.  You just know the person you were talking to saw it and was grossed out.  That mortifiys me.
• I’m thinking I have the dog housebroken and am just starting to feel confident and a bit cocky about my dog training success and he looks at me with those cute, black eyes and proceeds to pee on the floor.

What kind of things constitute your ‘end of the world’?  Blog about it or leave me a comment and tell me. 

Today marks the 20th birthday of Scott, my sweeter son, my second born.  He was a big baby, all of 11.bs 7 oz.   I delivered him naturally,  and lived through it, lol….and I’d do it all over again to have a son as good and kind as he is.  It’s difficult to realize he is 20 already.  Time flies so fast when your’e a mother and love your  children so much.  Happy birthday to you Scotty. I hope you live to be 100 and have a memory as sharp as a tack to to think back on your life and remember those who love you.

My days seem to be preoccupied with puppy training.  Xander, my newest baby is 8 weeks old and demanding (and deserving) of most of my time.  These are the weeks/months that must be tended to diligently if I expect to have a house trained dog.  I am anal, and very driven to get the job done and to not let him slip up if I can help it.  This little dog wants to please, you can see it in his eyes.  Just today, it is evident he has learned his name.  When I say “Xander!” , he looks up, perks his ears and watches me.  It’s as if he waited till we were settled on a name before he gave us the satisfaction of answering us.  He’s such a smart little angel.

I‘ve discovered Ray Lamontagne.  His music is folksy, comforting and enveloping.   Have a listen here, to understand just what I mean. 

Today, I realized how really blessed I am.  We’ve also got our selves together, too.  It’s a good feeling.

I‘m pissed at myself because I didn’t read my library copy of Rebecca quick enough.   It’s due tomorrow.  I went online to renew it and it turns out I can’t because someone else has  a hold on it.  I really screwed this one up.  Now I have to return the book and wait to finish it.  Should I just go to Borders and purchase my own copy? 

It’s been raining and raining and raining here every day.  I wonder if the sun will ever come out and dry out the rain?  Dreary is beginning to become the norm around here.  For someone who likes rainy days, even this is beginning to be too much for me to stand.

Do you ever wonder what’s next? 

…September 23rd to be exact.  I don’t know why I feel bad about not blogging.   It’s like I’m putting someone down or something.  But then I begin to realize just  who am I writing this blog for?  I think the answer is me.  I write this blog for me, so, I must take inspiration when it hits me and not obsess when it doesn’t come.   I’m no longer going to stress over not writing regularily. 

     –What I need to do is focus more on doing less, and doing a better job.  Sometimes I feel I spread myself too thin. It’s okay to not do everything.  I need to just enjoy the moment.

-It’s not how many times you fall down.  What matters is how quickly you get up.

-Sometimes I feel that at any given moment I can say the wrong thing and immediately fall out of favor with a certain person.  There are times when I feel shut out, and manipulated.  It angers me.  I don’t understand.

-I’d like to start knitting the slippers from the pattern in Knitting Pretty.  These look scrumptious to me, and if I can learn to read the pattern, I just might have a sweet, handmade gift for special people in my life this Christmas season.

-Unlike the past 6 years, I have been bitten by a premature Christmas bug.  I’m actually in the mood for the holidays this year.  I look forward to time spent with friends, and sharing simple pleasures.  It’s not all about the presents.  What matters is what comes from the heart.  It’s all about reconnecting.

-I’d like to do something meaningful this year for the needy.  I want to share this desire with my children so they, too can learn that the season is also about giving to those less fortunate.  About making someone feel good and that there are folks out there who care and want to make a difference.  If anyone knows of an organization or project to help the needy please leave me a comment and direct me to it.  The Heifer Project is a wonderful place to start, but I’d like to do more.  I want to create something and make someone’s heart happy.

-I’m planning a christmas card/ornament making party a day or two after Thanksgiving.  The guys will watch football while the women make a mess creating and writing cards together.  Music, coffee, Turkey Day leftovers and friends make this festive day.

-…maybe I’m not the one with the problem.  Maybe it’s HIM.

-I love the Chinese Lantern plant.

-I’m feeling like I can’t get anything done.  Besides the usual housework, what really makes my heart sing is creating art on a daily basis.  Why then, can’t I make time for it?  Why can’t I get myself to walk the dog every day?  I need will power-commitment.  I need to make time for the little things in my life that I feel are important. 

-It is scary to me how life can change on a dime.  Last night, my son’s best friend’s dad was killed on his driveway while working on his truck.  He was under it and the truck rolled and crushed him.  His son was there, and witnessed the entire thing.  The poor kid tried with a neighbor to get the car off his dad, but it was too late.  Just like that poof, your’e gone.  It’s scary and sad.  Life is so precious. 

-My aunt is dying of cancer.  After she’s gone, there will be only one of my father’s sisters left.  Everyone has died- my dad, my grandma, and my other aunt.  Today I was reminiscing about everyone when they were alive when I was a young girl.  I miss them all…it’s so very sad to know those days of togetherness are over. 

-I miss my mom.  I need to go visit her.

-Something nice: I read there are over 180 yoga studios nationwide that participate in Yoga Bear, a program that connects cancer survivors with free passes to local yoga studios.  To help bring peace of mind to a woman in recovery, go to yogabear.org for more info.

-Two weekends ago, I attended a Women of Faith retreat, just minutes from my house on the grounds of a St. Franciscan convent.  It was so beautiful.  I was skeptical at first, because over the past year or more I’ve begun to pull away from the church.  I haven’t been doubting the existance of God, but I have lost faith in the people who run the churches.  I just don’t care for the the politics and pettiness and hypocracy that tends to go on.  I must say, never have I felt so loved and welcomed by a group of 40 women than I did that weekend.  What sweet, genuine Catholic ladies.  They heartened me into believing the church might be good, at least the one where these ladies attend.  For the first time since abandoning my Catholic faith 25 years ago to become Lutheran when I married my husband, I felt the pang of familiarity while being at this retreat and it felt wonderful.  It was the little things  like the nuns, the statues, and rosaries and the responses at mass that I have ingrained in my brain from childhood that brought me back to my roots in the Catholic faith.  We attended mass on the grounds there on Saturday night and being in the church felt comfortable and comforting.  It felt right.  I think God does work in roundabout ways to show us what is right for us.   I’m convinced this retreat weekend was meant to be.  It filled a spiritual void that’s been festering in my soul for quite some time.  I will be returning to that little church in the woods often.  Even if it is by myself.  I feel a change occuring in me, and I am heartened.

I’m reading Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier.  So far, I like it.  I should, it’s considered the novel of the CENTURY.  Hmmm…

I’m ready.  Over the last month or so, I’ve felt similiar urges a woman might feel when she has that need to finally have a baby.  Only, I’m not desiring a sixth child, instead I’m wanting a little fur baby.  Yes, folks, a new puppy is tugging at my soul.  I’ve sincerely been aching for a golden retriever.  I imagine a beautiful golden dog that is devoted to me and the other members of my family.  I imagine him frolicking on the lawn playing fetch with a red ball.  I see him curling up on the sofa with me while I read or watch television.  I want to groom him and run a brush through his hair and feel my stress float away with each stroke.   I truly want this dog and since last Wednesday, a week now, we have him.  We drove about 170 miles each way to get him.  Being early, we got the pick of the litter (of 15!).  We chose a medium golden, very docile dog.  He’s just perfect. He eats, he poops and pees, he plays then he sleeps. He’s learning so quickly and is smart as a whip.   He naps often here under my computer desk.  I can feel his little heart beat on my bare feet as he lays across them.   Already, he is so eager to please and loves us with all his little puppy heart.  I know little Xander is going to add sunshine to my life.  You can see it in his eyes.  His name is pronounced ‘Zander’ and it is Greek for ”Man’s defender.” I feel Xander is the perfect name for this little blessing of a dog.

1. If you could build a house anywhere, were would it be?   In the charming quaint little town of Granville, OH.

2.What is your favorite article of clothing? yoga pants
3. Last C.D. you bought? Salsa tunes

4. Where is your favorite place to be? My husband’s arms.

5. Least favorite place to be?  Any place that’s filthy.  I don’t like dirty places.
6. Are you strongest in mind or body?  Mind by far.
7. What time do you wake up? 7am

8. Favorite kitchen appliance? coffeemaker
9. What instrument would you like to play? piano
10. Favorite color? yellow orange
11. Sports car of SUV?  Jeep Wrangler
12. Favorite children’s book?   Somebody and the Three Blairs

13. Favorite season? Fall.

14. Least favorite chore? waxing the car
15. Favorite day? It’s always been Friday.

16. Favorite food? Home made soups and stews with French or Italian bread and butter.

17. Favorite drink? Ice tea and coffee
18. Favorite word? Shangrila.

19. Favorite inspirational book?  Tuesdays With Morrie
20. Who would you like to play you in the movie of your life? Kate Winslett

Birds are king to me…

Over the last few days I’ve been getting some random thoughts about things so I’ve been writing them down.  I also came across some neat quotations I’d like to share with you all.

• Something that bugs me.  Why is it just because I have five kids do people always ask me, “How do you do it?  How do you have the time?”  I usually get this when they find out I like to blog regularily, or create things or the fact that I have a small design business.  I can’t tell you how much this aggrivates me.  I get this almost all the time.  It tends to make me feel as though I’m doing something I shouldn’t.  It insinuates that perhaps I should be devoting myself around the clock to my family.  Uh uh.  No way.  I can’t do that.  In order to be a good, interesting, and productive mother and viable  person, I have to develop my soul, nurture my interests and create a space for myself.  I know of people who are ‘all kids’ and nothing else.  I could never be that way.  Not a chance.    By the way, do you want to know how I do it?  My secret is I’m not a perfectionist.  I don’t do everything as well as I should, but everyone gets a piece of the mom pie, including mom.  And I am here for my family all the time while I’m doing it.  Just ask anyone who knows me.
• The other day my black cat snuck out.  I hate when this happens.  I usually never let him out because, theoretically, he is an indoor cat.  He returned a few hours later and around that time we were grilling and found a freshly killed sparrow lying on the grass by the back door.  I felt so sad for that little bird, seeing it lying there, still warm from the life that had just minutes before been present.  Ever since I was a child, dead birds have tugged at my heart.  They sadden me.   I used to have little funerals for birds when I was a kid.  I’d wrap the lifeless body in a little hankerchief or tissue and place it in a box with some small  flowers from the garden.  My friend and I would make a little hole with our sand shovel and then bury it.    Even today birds are one of my favorite animals.  What is yours?
• Lately I’ve had this desire to reconnect with old friends.  I’ve started tracking some of them down and found that a couple of them seem apprehensive or hesitant to contact me back.  I don’t think this reluctance has anything to do with me personally, rather, I think sometimes people are afraid of change, renewed relationships, or even of letting people back into their lives.  I welcome old friendships.  Life is so short.  How can you not? 
• It occured to me that self-confidence is something you project outwards and self-esteem is something you project inwards.
• Did you ever pray for something to happen and one day, by surprise quite the opposite happens?  I believe this is God’s way of answering in a very loud, deliberate way.  This happened to me a little over a month ago.  I’ve since stopped asking God to intervene in  this particuliar thing.  I figured He obviously is leading the show and know’s what he thinks is best for the situation.
• To me, having a clear library card is very freeing.  If I don’t have my card hosed up with fees and lost books, I have the freedom to borrow books whenever the mood hits me.  Having a library that is bursting at the seams with so many choices is such a luxury to me. 
• Make use of your body’s ingenious design.  Move, stretch, walk and run a little every day.
• Sometimes picking your battles means letting go of a need to engage in them.
• The real test of friendship is, can  you literally do nothing with the other person?  Together can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?
• It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.  Who are your 4 a.m. friends? 
• Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain.  It’s not something you learn in school, but if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship,  you haven’t learned anything.

• 

Available or married? Married…Best Friend? Cindy…Cake or Pie? carrot cake!…Drink of choice?  Coffee with flavored creamers…Essential item for every day use? Toilet Paper…Favorite color? yellow orange…Google? Yahoo!…Hometown? Chicago, IL…Indulgences? Books, pedicures,highlights, fabric, Pottery Barn stuff…January or February? January…Kids and their names? Dave,21, Scott, 19, Caroline, 17, Andrew, 13, Jeff, 11, …Life is incomplete without?  Laughter and pets…Marriage date? 8.8.84…Number of siblings? 0…Oranges or apples? Fuji Apples…Phobias and fears? falling from high up…heights…Quote for the day? “No good deed goes unpunished”  …Reason to smile?  When my kids tell me what a cool mom I am and they tell me they love me.…Season? Fall/Winter – specifically November…Tag 3 people? I’m tagging you and you and you. Yes. You..Unknown fact about me? I’m self confident, but I haven’t much self-esteem.  Confusing? …Vegetable you hate? leeks, …Worst habit? doing laundry and folding it, then letting it sit in the laundry baskets for like a week(or longer) before I knuckle under and put it all away. And my bawdy humor. …X-rays you’ve had? Teeth, chest and feet…Your fave food? Pick one?  Home made soups and stews. Zodiac sign? Aries– yes, I’m a crazy, impulsive bitch-sometimes!

• I wish I could go one day a week where I’m not thinking about my how fat I think I am, how gross I think I look in the mirror, how I hate my no-chin chin, where I can not think about what I put in my mouth, and most of all where I think about the positives of my physical body instead of focusing obsessively on what is wrong with me.
• I’m really enjoying  the book “I Am Legend”   I have begun to enjoy reading so much more and I am actually making time to devour my books.  I am also reading (in dribs and drabs) “Bold Fresh” by Bill O’Reilly and I found “When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies” at the Goodwill.  I think after the above bullet point, this book might be just what the Dr. ordered.
• I had a party on Sunday and invited some old friends, and my husband’s aunt and uncle were there as well as my children and some of their teenage friends.  It’s amazing how well all three generations of people blended and enjoyed eachother’s company.  When it came to music, it seemed like we were devoid of a generation gap.  The younger set seemed to enjoy the oldies as much as the older folks.    It was a really fun day for everyone.
• Lately, I’ve had the urge to reconnect with past friends who I’ve lost touch with.  Thanks to Facebook I can accomplish that.  I wish all my friends had blogs so I can visit and see what is going on in their lives and in their heads.  Are you all reading this?  Get a blog!
• I’m a little under the weather today, most of my kids have had this little virus, and now it’s my turn. 
• I signed up for Kelly Kilmer’s September Online Art Journaling class.  It is now the 8th of Sept. and I haven’t completed one prompt.  I’m disappointed with my self for not setting time aside to complete these.  Doing a little bit of art every day is like brain exercise for me.  Tisk tisk…Today I will make an attempt.
• I finally got my sewing area cleaned up on the loft.  I’m so happy!  I feel like the space is calling me to “come on up, and make something!”
• I have such an urge to blog, but feel disappointed in myself because I really would like to come up with something substantive to write about, but the writing is just not there.  I’m tuning in more with how I’m ‘feeling’ and writing a lot less about my opinions on things.
• I got a bit of a drastic hair cut last Friday.  I’m so happy with it.  I had 7 inches cut off my length.  I’m feeling really perky and together.  The long hair was really ‘bringing me down’.  I didn’t feel young with it, I felt like al fat old lady with long, stringy hair.  My hubby would beg to differ with me, because he loves the long hair.  He was kind and neutral about my decision.  He’s come a long way from the past where he’d actually get angry with me when I had it cut.  I got some pretty highlights and it sits just below my collar bones.  I think I will go a bit shorter in the next couple months and have it just at my shoulders.  I’ve always loved Martha Stewart’s layered cut.  It’s a little like that.  Now, if I could just cook and garden and keep house like she does.

There are days when I have this occasional urging to jump in the car and head to my favorite Goodwill.  There, I almost always without fail find wonderful books.  Yesterday was one of those days and as usual, I wasn’t disappointed!  I grabbed a copy of Jane Eyre and The Secret  Life of Bees, although I’ve already read those and they are some of my favorites (you never can have enough copies to loan out to friends), a beautiful,  almost new copy of Thoreau, a marked up copy of The Great Gatsby and a big ‘Farm Cookbook,’ and the first Harry Potter which I didn’t photograph.

In additon to my books, I snagged a sweet skirt with a Bohemian vibe that comes to a nice,  long length.  It’s just the skirt I was looking for.  I also found some really nice plus size tops.

There’s nothing like Goodwill for some great treasure hunting!

Hmmm…I wonder what I’ll read first?