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I am readying for a vacation (if you can call it that) to northern Wisconsin next week and I have piles of clean clothes that haven’t been put away, animal care to square up, and a messy house to contend with. I’m harried. One must wonder how I can even take time away from what needs to be done to sit here and write this. (It’s called a break.)

To me, a vacation would be sending my family off with a pat on each of their butts and a kiss and saying ”sayonara–see ya in a week!” I crave a house that’s quiet and peaceful. I want one week just for me to do what I want-when I want. A vacation is the perfect week away–from my family that is. This is my fantasy every year–to stay home to gather my thoughts and be on my own. To transform in to a perfect mom and wife who’s completely refreshed when they pull up in the driveway a week later. Honestly, I think I mostly need a vacation from my husband.

I know how this story is gonna end. I’m going to go with them this Saturday, piling in a car thats bulging from over capacity and heading straight Up North to our usual spot, Camp Nawakwa–the Kids and the Kids Friends, the Husband, the cramped cabins and the serenity of nature all there for my enjoyment.

As my mind is bombarded by thoughts of being solo while they vacation without me, the guilt and reality of the situation begins to quickly creep in. I’m not a stupid woman. I know full well there are only so many vacations a family has together. The kids are soon grown, or they’re still around and don’t want to be seen with you because they’d rather be with their friends. Pretty soon, poof! it’s over. Realizing this, I feel I can put my ‘stay at home’ fantasy away for just one more year. After all, more than my peace, my solitude, my urge to stay up all night watching marathons of Sex and the City, my freedom to come and go and do as I please, more than all this, I love my family.

Tomorrow begins packing day. Well, well, well. Maybe, when I’m up there in the land of mosquitoes, when I just can’t take it anymore, I’ll find myself a little antique shop to escape to when the going gets tough and the togetherness gets a bit intolerable. I do know, however, I will have one more year of memories with my dear kids, and I won’t have to endure the guilt which will end up hitting me like a ton of bricks mid week, if I were to stay home solo.

Camp Nawaka, here I come.

To my late father Emil, Larry, John & Ed I wish you all a Happy Father’s day.

I remember my dear father, Emil who was the first love in my life. He is gone now, but I always think of him and miss him very much. Growing up, he made me feel loved and always wanted. I watched him interact with people and I remember everyone loved to be around him. He was a good friend to everyone he knew. I try to emulate those things about him.

Tesorino mio! Larry, my husband and father of my children, I love you. Thanks for being here every day for all of us and for loving me no matter what.

John, my stepfather who I love very much–thank you for all you do for me and for loving me as you would your own daughter.

Ed, my father in law, I am glad to finally have you in our life. I’m grateful Larry is now able to know you!

Summer is here. I have 5 kids of my own (19,17,15,11,9). We have one extra college kid (19) staying with us for the summer. That makes 6. I have a work at home husband who needs me alot (translated, “Get me this, get me that, yada, yada”)–that makes 7. School is out for summer and my six hour days of quiet are over. Sure, I can sleep late, and that is a good thing, but the noise in the house is chronic. There is the TV, which my husband has on 24/7, the sound of my 17 year old and his friends having band practice in the basement, and the sound of voices through the house at all times of the day and night. I can’t even play my music on my computer because my husband has the TV on so loud, it drowns out any sound, however pleasant, in the kitchen where I sit.

There’s never a welcoming dull moment to speak of. My family stays up late, my husband has no discipline- he stays up late working and sometimes sleeps a good portion of the day. He works from home, which means he is always around. I wish he go in to the office 3 days a week–Too much togetherness is harmful to a relationship. He just tells me I’m crazy when I say that. He’s wrong. Really the only time I can have my quiet, peaceful moments–my solitude is in the morning. Maybe some people don’t need quiet. But, honestly, I need a bit of solitude to just keep my sanity, recharge my batteries and gather my thoughts–and frankly, I prefer to get my quiescent moments in when I’m not sleeping.

I love my children. Please don’t get me wrong. I’d die for them. They are all good kids and they are my heart. They all love me and enjoy me as their mother. I’m fun, lighthearted, fast to yell and quick to forgive, and funny. I make them laugh and their friends like me. I am just weary. I want my life back–Gasp! Horrors! Is that what good, mother’s of the world say about their motherhood? Let’s not be pretentious here….I’m sure all good mommies feel this way sometime. Motherhood is not all Koolaid and roses. What do I mean when I say I want my life back? I suppose it means not having people coming and going through my front door, and up and down my basement stairs multiple times every day. I guess it means not having a messy house to contend with, which multitudes of people just naturally bring. It means just having less aggrivation, and boy I am aggrivated.

It’s going to be a long summer, I can tell. I am too nice for this job. In fact, some of my friends think I let my kids walk all over me, (which I seriously disagree with. I’ve seen moms who let their kids use them as the door mat. That’s NOT me. My problem is I’m too nice.) Maybe I need to be more of a bitch, or maybe I need to be bossier or more like a drill seargent and demand “the chores better get done and no one is getting any handouts till the work is finished, damn it!!” These kids feel no guilt, no sense of obligation to help. When I was a kid, I did stuff around the house without being asked. I could just see what needed to be done and I did it. What the hell is wrong with kids today? It’s like pulling teeth to get my daughter to load the dishwasher! She doesn’t have to stand and hand wash and dry–she has to load the damn appliance that does the hard work for her. What gives?

While on the elliptical this morning,(yes, I go to the gym to escape) I was reading an article about today’s middle aged parents on the subject of ’empty nesters’. The article was talking about how people no longer curl up and wait to die, feeling forlorn and lonely after their children move out. Todays parents have lengthier life spans, and much more to do after the kiddos find a new address. We take over their rooms and remove the concert posters, and trade in the milk crates for office furniture or other grown up stuff. Some couples decide to sell their suburban homes where they raised their family and make the move to the city to become urbanite condo dwellers. They travel more. They feel like newlyweds again. They begin a new career or home business. They have peace and quiet and solitude. The article talked about how raising kids has now become a brief interlude in our lives. We have 20-30 years left after our children are gone to enjoy this life and do some really interesting things. It’s a new stage in life.

In the next decade or so, my grandbabies should begin being born. This time, the kids who come to visit me will get to go home with their parents and drive them crazy. And so the cycle begins again. I hope my grandchildren bitch about loading the dishwasher to my kids…I can’t wait.

It was a year ago this month that my daughter Caroline and I went to NYC with my friend Laura and her daughter, Kristin. The time flies amazingly fast, and our trip is all but a memory now, but what a memory! I long for the time I can go back and see more…it may be a while before I can return. I’m trying to make it once a year and the next time I go, I will have to take my son Scott. I promised I’d take him next. Caroline was my travelling partner on this one and my oldest son, Dave, accompanied me on my very first trip. I figure with 3 more kids to take individually, I know I have several more trips ahead of me!

The photos are self explanatory and they do stand out in my memory. The fashion district is marked by that huge button and needle….very prominent in my mind, being a person who loves to sew and create things out of fabric. This must be the worlds biggest needle and button! We didn’t get to the Ed Sullivan theatre–no tickets, but we were suprised by just meandering around the city, we ended up right in front of it! I had always wondered where the David Letterman Show was located and BOOM! we ran right into the place.

We had lunch that day at the Carnegie Deli, highly recommended by my father in law, Ed. He said they have the best corned beef sandwiches in Manhattan and he was right….but they are also the most expensive! $12 for a 5″ thick sandwich! Those baby’s are unbelievably yummy, too! The crappy part–because the place is so popular, they do not allow people who are dining together to share one massive sandwich. There is a $12 minimum per person to sit in a seat in that restaurant! If you don’t feel hungry and just feel like coffee, don’t bother going to the Carnegie unless you want to fork out $12 bucks just for the thrill of being there–You might as well just order something off the menu, have it wrapped and take it home for dinner.

Just down the street to the right of the Flat Iron Building is the Cutting Room, the famous lounge owned by Chris Noth. I was able to see him working at the bar in ’05, but no such luck last year. I do have many more chances to get a sighting of him, so I’m still holding out hope to see him once again.

My favorite show on HBO, The Sopranos is almost at it’s end. This Sunday marks the last episode of the season and of the series. It’s been long and drawn out, and frankly a bit boring at times. Seems all the action was saved for the last 3 episodes.

Just in the last two weeks, Tony was ‘fired’ by his psychologist, Dr. Melfi. Silvio is in the hospital dying of gunshot wounds and Christopher’s death was brought on literally at the hand of Tony. Mr. Soprano and what’s left of his gang, are hold up in an undisclosed location, waiting for all hell to break loose, and hoping to not get whacked by Phil Leotardo’s men. Carmella and family have left for a safer place until it all blows over. What will Sunday bring? Is Tony going to die, or will he be completely immasculated by the loss of his men, only to crawl under a rock in hiding until the script for the movie is written?

To me, as much of a bad guy as Tony is, there is and always has been something very sexy about him. I will miss him. I always secretly wished I was one of his ‘Gomara’s’…he seems like he’d be fun to be with if you know what I mean…irregardless that he is always making love with his boxer shorts on.

Last Fall, I used to belong to a knitting group and one of the women who ran it told me her husband went to college with James Gandolfini. At school, James was a bit of a nerd. Her husband said Jim was really big into playing Dungeons and Dragons and had an elf character named Iniflodnag–Gandolfini spelled backwards. She remembered this because just that week before our meeting she had been cleaning out some old papers of her husband’s and found Jame’s character sheet he used for Iniflodnag, that recorded all his hit points and character attributes. She said she should have sold it on eBay, but didn’t consider it at the time. I found that to be a very interesting story. Guess who elses husband is also into D&D since forever? Mine! He’s also Italian and he doesn’t wear boxers–ever. I’ll leave it at that. Caio!

An article by Pat Johnson-Bennett for Yahoo Pets

You may or may not be aware of cat kisses, but they’re something cat lovers have talked about for years. Some believe in them and some don’t. I happen to be a believer in the ever-subtle — but extremely endearing — cat kiss.
If you’re envisioning your favorite feline puckering up and planting a whisker-tickling smooch on your cheek, you’re on the wrong track. A cat kiss is actually a very slow blink of the cat’s eyelids.
Cat kisses are given to other cats, and to some lucky humans. It’s usually reserved for a companion with whom the cat is familiar and friendly. You can even return a cat kiss with your own slow blink.

The next time you’re sitting on the couch and your kitty is relaxed on the chair across the room, pay close attention — because she may be offering a cat kiss. Her posture will be relaxed with her facial muscles also relaxed. Her eyelids will ever-so-gently close and reopen. You’ve just been kissed!
Don’t attempt cat kisses with unfamiliar cats or ones who are stressed and anxious. You don’t want to offer a direct stare to an unhappy or conflicted kitty. Reserve cat kisses for those relaxed and happy moments with the cats in your life.

Yes, I get ‘kissed’ by all four of my cats, especially Fletch, who just adores me for reasons unknown. Chaz, my black cat is also a big ‘kisser.’ I truely love my fur babies. They all know their names, usually come when they are called and also love me and my family. I can’t imagine life without all four of the silly gooses. This photo is of CHAZ, and he was just in the middle of blinking me a kiss when I snapped the photo. Sweet, eh?

Yep…I got tagged by Deb, so now I have to fess up and list the 7 things (do I have 7 things–how presumptuous!) on my ”To Do List.”

Hmmmm….let’s see…………

1. Replace the glass globe on the back yard outside light. The original fell off and crashed to the pavement. (I got this one accomplished this morning and I changed the light bulb to one of those super energy effecient flourescent kinds! See the post below about readying for summer….)

2. Try to find a place to board my two dogs while we go on vacation the first week of July. These places fill up fast, so I better get my tail movin’!

3. Register my son online so he can take the ACT test this summer. (See how boring my list is?!!)

4. Start designing some NEW stuff…geeze, Em, the time has come!

5. Find time to do those polka dot sewing projects below.

6. Get all the mounds of fabric and wool I’ve inherited from my late mother in law up on eBay and out of here!!! Lordy…I’ve been blessed (not!!!) with having to deal with all her stuff!!! (My dining room is stacked to the gills with boxes upon boxes of fabric. Unfortunately, not the kind I need to make primitive doll dresses out of! AACK!)

7. Get my house cleared out and clean….it’s making me crazy.

8. Find 3 new people to tag so they, too, can share with the world their domestic ”To Do Lists”.