Author: Emily

Thursday I took a little road trip with my friend Laura to Davenport, Iowa. She had a presentation to make at the Radisson Hotel there and was driving up by herself, so she asked me to come along for the ride. It was only 24 hours and God knows I need a little P & Q-I am a mother of 5 you know.

I had plently of alone time and I just relished it. I got to the hotel, took a nap on the Sleep Number bed (how cool is that?) then awoke to do an art journal. I thought I’d be more in the mood to do some creative pages, but I had a bit of a headache. What I really was in the mood for was Jane Eyre. I popped 3 Motrin then snuggled up in the overstuffed, red hotel chair and devoured about 5 chapters. The room was quiet and lovely. I thoroughly enjoyed my down time. I could use a day like this once a week.

I am getting a good response to my rag doll challenge, for sure! However, I’m having a bit of a problem! When you leave a comment to let me know you are joining in, you need to leave me a NON ANONYMOUS comment, otherwise I won’t get a link back to your blog. If you want to comment anonymously, please send me your email address so I can contact you. I’ve had a few ladies who even requested help with putting up the little banner on their side bar, and it’s been very frustrating for me because I am unable to find them. There’s no link or email to reply to. Believe me, I’m not ignoring you…it’s just that my hands are tied and I’m helpless as to how to find you.

So, if you have already responded to me about participating and are wondering why I haven’t replied, email me or leave me a comment again using a url link in the comment. If I don’t have a link for you, no one will be able to see your doll because I’ll be unable to know where where to link back to your site on the 21st..

Thanks Ladies! Spread the word! 3 more weeks till spring!

“I have and everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.” –Lucille Ball

…from my “Wild Words from Wild Women calender”

“The history of all times, and of today especially, teaches that…women will be forgotten if they forget to think about themselves.”

-Louise Otto, an advocate for her gender in 19th century Germany.

Surprise! Well, if you are are a regular, you know I can’t stand still for long. I don’t like to live with the same old, same ole stuff day in and day out. I always like to change things.

Look around. Do you see a theme going on? Lately, I noticed I have this attraction to black umbrellas. I have 3 framed prints in my house that have someone holding an umbrella, I also have a drawing I did of golashes and a black umbrella way back in college that I found in that old portfolio in the basement. Since I’ve noticed my affinity for this item, I see them everywhere. This attraction has been with me for a long time, apparently. So, for March, I’m going to celebrate the umbrella with a handmade banner and some fun graphics running down the right column of my blog.

I bet now, you will notice them, too. Let me know if you do.

I have this tear off calender from 2007 that I saved and forgot about. I never used it and rediscovered it with pure delight! I just have to share a quote a day with you all….maybe it will inspire an art journal page for some of you.

“I don’t have an hourglass figure. I have an hour and a half.”

-Wendy Liebman, American Comedy Award Winner

I felt as awkward writing about fashion as this chick feels trying to get her zipper up.

About a year ago, I received an email from an editor at Figure magazine who had been actively searching the internet for a blogger to write for the magazine’s new blog. She came to B&B, and discovered she liked my style of writing and contacted me to ask if given the chance, would I be interested in writing for their website’s blog. I was excited and said sure! After all, writing is something I really enjoy and I was equally thrilled to be asked to be a part of a magazine not to mention something that had to do with being a plus size woman. I asked her what I’d have to do to increase my chances of being chosen out of the other 3 or 4 bloggers they were considering. She told me to just continue to do what I had already been doing and to write about clothing and fashion a bit more.

After being contacted by her, over the course of the year I didn’t get an affirmative answer as to whether they had chosen a blogger or not. It seemed to take forever. They were always in the deciding stage. I didn’t change anything about my writing really. I just did what she suggested and wrote a little bit more about fashion. But it wasn’t an easy thing for me. It was really a stretch for me to write about clothing and fashion sense. After all, I can barely get my own style figured out, much less be an advise giver to others as if I were some kind of fashionista. It almost felt crazy to me and definately out of character. But hey, it wasn’t like I was asked to write about chemistry or something that I didn’t know jack about. Afterall, I am plus size and did know a little about clothing, so I told myself I might actually be able to pull this off. Did I mention I loved the idea of being a part of a magazine? All that year, I tugged with the prospect of getting this writing gig alongside feeling torn, like I wasn’t being true to myself and my readers. I think fashion blogs (please forgive me if you have one) come across as being very surface level and materialistic. I just don’t get much out of them. It might be because I don’t care too much about fashion for fashion sense. I do like clothes, don’t get me wrong, and I believe every woman should have her own style. But, I didn’t want to be one of those blog fashion writers. There were times when I didn’t write about fashion at all, and I felt stressed thinking I wasn’t doing what I needed to convince this lady to choose me. I felt pressured to conform and I hated it. Eventually, as time went on, I decided to stop worrying about it because I just can’t force a blog post from a brain with zero inspiration, and zero motivation for that matter. There were times when I didn’t write for a week or so and I began to feel my magazine blogger opportunity slowing slipping down the toilet.

After all my stress, of trying to do the right thing, I get an email a few months back from this editor, and she informed me in a very roundabout way that she will keep me in mind if any other writing opportunities for me arise-and that they had chosen their blogger. I shrugged it off, put the subject to rest and breathed a sigh of relief. Of course, I was disappointed. But, my stress levels went down to almost nothing at the thought I wouldn’t have to keep writing about something that wasn’t inately interestng to me.

So a few days ago, I stopped in at Figure magazine’s website to see if the new blog had begun and get a glimpse of Lucky B__ch who ousted my chances. I noticed a box on the home page that said, “An important message to our readers.” I clicked on it and to my surprise, I read the magazine was ceasing publication. This economy has taken another bite out of a struggling company, and yet another magazine is going under.

Gazing at my computer screen, I had this thought, “I wasn’t chosen because they found someone better. They didn’t pick me because this magazine is going to cease to exist.” I got a sick little comfort from that. And now, I can return to being myself with no pressure to manufacture blog posts about stuff that didn’t inspire me. Yoga pants, mary janes and simple, basic black tops…that’s me folks. I ain’t no fashion diva. Thank God.