Author: Emily

I got a thought about why it might be that this country is contemplating socialism.  I think it’s the new generation (computer geeks, video generation) and the retiring of the baby boomers, and the dying out of their parents, the folks who were the really hard workers who came from immigrant parents who were also people who came to this country and worked their butts off and wanted a piece of the pie.  That struggle for them  is over for the most part.  They made this country what it is today, and we are all reaping the benefits of that arduous challenge.  What we have now are people who are the product of that.  Over the course of their lives they have had a lot handed to them.  They (we?) had it much easier than their grandparents and great grandparents before them.  What’s really to strive for anymore?  Certainly there aren’t hordes of immigrants coming here streaming through New York with the same die hard work ethic our fathers and mothers before us had.  That entire intense movement of change seems to be over, at least on a grand scale.   Maybe it’s just that we are all tired of busting our balls (oh, wait, I haven’t busted anything!) and just want an even keel.  Could it be?  Could it be this country and the people running it are becoming complacent and just want to lay low and let the cards fall were they may?  Is it easier to distribute the money evenly so we can all benefit somewhat equally? 

 Let’s face it, the vast majority of people are not going to be ‘lottery winners of life’, rather they’re going to be regular people working every day to pay their bills, keep food on the table and a roof over their head.  Hopefully, they own that roof.   This thought came to me today while my husband and I were talking about the whole potentiality for socialism developing in this country.  At first we were both against it, but last night, Larry talked to some very educated guys who brought up some valid points regarding how it could be a positive thing.  One guy said he went to France on a business trip to work at the French office and he noticed there (and it drove him crazy) everyone was so laid back and only worked a 35 hour work week.  No more, no less.  They played a lot of Civilization (a computer game), goofed around alot and seemed overall, much happier than himself and his American colleagues.  Maybe it drove him crazy because he was envious of them.  I find it a compelling thought, to work minimally and play to the maximum, to enjoy life and get as much out of it and still sustain yourself and your lifestyle with minimal work.  Hey, it sounds really good to me.  See.  I’m just the type of person with an attitude that’s bad for this country and it’s millions of people just like me that might be the reason why capitalism could be on the wane.  Am I all wet here?  I’m not sure Socialism or something like it is good for the country because I’ve never lived it.  It sounds good, but is it?  I don’t know where I’m going with this. 

I do understand the value and greatness of capitalism.  The chance to become a Bill Gates type  of success is born with all of us IF we  put our minds to it, sweat blood working hard and try, and try, even after numerous failed attempts.  But, the real reality of it is,  most people don’t become an economic success, and almost none of  us reach the heights Mr. Gates did.  I call these abnormally successful people the ‘lottery winners of life.’  In my experience as an artist, I see the ‘lottery winners’ as women (and men, too) who’ve created a multimillion dollar business from their basements or kitchen tables.  One year I attended the Country Living Fair in Chicago and sat witness to a panel of successful women like Vera Bradly,  book authors and product designers who made it big, basically doing nothing out of the ordinary.  As I sat there watching them gloat and ‘try to share their experience’ with us, I felt like more like I was having my face rubbed in their accomplishments.   I wasn’t inspired by their success, I resented it.

Call me jealous.  Maybe I am.  But, I’ve tried to be successful, and it hasn’t worked.  My husband has programmed his fingers to the bone and is one of the smartest people I’ve ever met and he’s not economically successful running his company.  I think the reality of it is, some people get very lucky.  Surely the things these women did weren’t amazing, unique or wonderful.  They were reinventing the wheel and got tremendously lucky.   At least Bill Gates was an instrument in developing something life changing, and set the course for people to have their own computers.  Heck, if it weren’t for him, I might not be typing this blog post right now.  Probably, not, though.  Someone else would have got lucky and did the same thing he did.  Instead, he might have called his product ‘Doors’.  Again, I might be jealous, but I am really getting tired of seeing the material excesses of overpaid people.  Celebritites, CEO’s and athletes I believe are paid way too much for what they are worth.  Now you say, sure, it’s easy to say that about them, but what if I were one of those lucky celebrities or brilliant CEO’s raking in the millions for a years work?  I might be humming a different tune if the tides were turned.  Yes, I might, but I also might be very embarrased by my overpaid career.  I just might be pretty damn generous, given the chance.

I’m not intending to make this post a political statement.  I’m just saying I had this thought and it’s probably way off base, but the thought occured to me and since this is my blog-my sounding board, I thought I’d share  it.  It does make sense to me that the really industrious, tenacious people are dying off.  What is left to run this country is a majority of spoiled Americans.  Who knows?  If you really think about it, maybe Bill Gates is to blame for this American laziness and complacency.  The product of his very success could be why our kids are becoming computer potatoes and sometimes don’t venture out to be kids who play outside and use their imaginations like generations of children before them.  See-success might not be such a great thing.  Look what it’s done. Maybe a million or so of success driven people without a pot to piss in will someday bring us back to what America was like when everyone worked their butts off to make this country a better place and that will give us hope after all that it can all happen again.  But, that’s so much work!  And are people really happier busting their buts?  I wish it was an easy thing to figure out. Well, you know what they say-history repeats its self.  I guess we will see.

**I know I’m going to get it for writing this.    Comments, and bitch outs welcome.  Remember, I’m a really nice person, just be gentle with me.

Okay, I’m ready, you can throw your darts now.

I received this in an email sent to me by Mr. Erklin, my beloved high school art teacher.  Erk, a big kiss for this.

My instructions were to pass this on and good things would happen to me, so instead of forwarding it on, I thought I’d make a blog post out of it.  I think it is full of some very valuable life advise that we all can use.  It’s thought provoking, and intended to help people find joy and enlightenment.  Read on.  It might appeal to  you, too.

• Remember silence is sometimes the best answer.

• Live a good honorable life.  Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.

• A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

• In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation.  Don’t bring up the past.

• Share you knowledge.  It is a way to achieve immortality.

• Be gentle with the earth.

• Once a year, go somewhere you’ve never been before.

• Remember the best relationship is one in which your love for eachother exceeds your need for eachother.

• Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

• Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

• Take into account great love and great achievements in a great risk.

• When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

• Follow the three R’s.  Respect for Self.  Respect for others and Respect for your actions.

• Spend some time alone every day.

• When you realize you made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

• Don’t let a little dispute ruin a great relationship.

• Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

• Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

• Open arms to change, but don’t give up your values.

Here’s what’s on my mind this day:

• I’m so happy to have friends.  I’m particularily happy for a renewal of friendship with a couple of old friends Larry and I had when we were kids-up until we got married.  We let the years come between us and before we knew it, 20 years had passed.  We fixed that, and now  I feel good things happening in the future.  Friends make my heart happy and make my soul sing.  I look forward to many fun times with this married couple and hope we can experience lots of things together in the future like our kids weddings, barbecues, holidays and maybe even a couples trip together.
• I’m feeling better about the prospect of my son moving out in the near future.  Actually, I think it will be a part time move, but we all know what starts out as part time, soon turns into fulltime.  But that’s okay, because I know he loves me and he will come and see us, and when he does, maybe he will focus on us and spend some quality time here.  That can be a good thing.
• I’m jonesing for the silliest thing-an old english sheepdog I saw on Petfinder.com.  I can’t stop thinking about him.  I approached Larry about the prospect of maybe adopting him and he just looked at me with this look that could kill ‘you’ve got to be kidding face’ and rolled his eyes.  “An old english sheepdog?  OMG, why?”  And you know what?  He know’s he’s going to be sharing a bed with this big old shaggy dog if I get my way, and usually, when it comes to pets, I do get my way, lol..
• This has been such a lovely summer…I’m loving it so much.  The weather has been nearly perfect here in Chicago.
• I’m excited because finally, my imagination has begun to churn again.  This kind of thing always happens when I have a magazine deadline.  It forces me to create something.  A little fire under my butt to get me going.   That’s what I definately need.  Fire under my butt.
• I’ve been eating less and I feel really good.  I heard a guy on TV say that eating less (consistantly) helps you live longer.  Apparently, it takes years off your life when your stomach is always in a state of digesting food.  I’ve been eating less and I see my stomach going down.  I haven’t walked poor Lilly in two weeks.  I know I need to start that again.  Walking combined with my eating less might just equal some weight off. 
• I’m becomming interested in ‘enlightenment’, a buddhist term.  I ordered a book on 10 easy ways to seek enlightenment.  I can’t wait to read it.  I was very inspired by the praying portion of EAT PRAY LOVE, and it piqued my interest. 
• I feel so very happy inside lately.  It’s been a rough month money wise, but I’ve come to find that there is joy to be found in non material things.  I have found family, reading, being with friends and creating things to be wonderful ways to find happiness without a cost.  Maybe the best things in life are free- well, all except for $300 sheep dogs.  Now, there’s a big, ole fuzzy bundle of joy.
• I’ve decided I hate the game Parcheesi.  I played it tonight for the first time in quite a while and now I know why I avoid it as much as possible.  It’s frustrating  and boring.  I find myself daydreaming between rolls, and I could give two poops about formulating a  strategy. YAWN.
• I absolutely, with all my heart hate wrestling.  My husband has been constantly watching this crap on TV and seriously, I want to squirt blood from my eyes from the sound of it.  I HATE IT.

I spotted these aprons in a trendy shop over on the north side of Chicago.  I was so taken by their colorful dispositions.  I’m really feeling inspired by them and I havent’ figured out if  it’s the colors, the ruffles or just the simple fact that they are totally adorable.  Anyway I see it, I feel a new doll design coming on.

This has been a bit of  an odd summer, one that’s left me feeling the vibration of imminent change .  Over the last month or two it has come to reality that my oldest son is beginning to pull away and is readying to start a life on his own.  I don’t know if these changes will happen next month, or in a year from now, but I do know they are on the horizon.   I vacillate between feeling  sad and melancholy to looking on the bright side, and  feeling good about it because it means my life is changing, too.  There are many things for me to look forward to, like finally having an art/sewing room, to less laundry, to more privacy and quality time with my husband.  Of course, the fact that I have four other kids at home means things won’t change that drastically.  But for me, milestones that pertain to my children seem affect me so much more with the first born.  I suppose that’s  the job of the first child- to pave the way for the rest of the siblings to follow, whether it be the first day of school, graduation, leaving the nest or marriage.   The pain in my mommy heart (so far) seems to subside a bit and becomes a little easier to tolerate as each subsequent child makes his way down that path.  I’m sure the last child to venture down will cause the pain to intensify almost as much as it did for the first one because it will  mark the end of motherhood as I know it.  Even though I will always be their mother, they won’t need me as much.  It does hurt a little to face that fact..  Eventually, what I think I will need to help me though this is something else in life to fill my soul with joy, just as my children did all these years.  Maybe that new joy will be grandchildren, maybe it will be a new teaching career and students to tend to, or maybe it will be a new dog.  Who knows?  Of course, having not experienced every child leaving the nest, I can only imagine how it will ache and pain my heart.  Can any of you more experienced mothers lend an insight to what I am going through?

—–

I’m beginning to set my sights on what’s next for me.  Now that my kids are older, I want to carter a new course in my life that involves a career in the art field.  I’d love to go to work and do something I loved that earned a paycheck.  What bliss!   

I am craving the mess of creativity.  I want to dip my fingers in paint and glue and make art.  I am craving, also, some creative girlfriend time.  This is something I feel with all my soul that I need and I’m feeling depleted.  I need to fill up my creative juices again.  And soon.

—-

I’m worried about my mother.  She is 80 and has had her second eye surgery for macrel degeneration within two weeks of each other.  Her sight is worse than when she went in, and she’s edgy, cranky and fearful her sight may n ot return.  To some extent, I feel a bit responsible because I encouraged her to have the surgery.  I thought it would go better than it has.  The Dr. says her eye isn’t healed yet.   He says it will get better, but it seems like an eternity when you are looking through a dense fog where only light comes through.  In addition to her eyesight, she is telling me she is having heaviness in her chest.  I am worried for her and need to encourage her to get to a cardiologist.   It’s scary, this life.  Everything can change in one split second.  We all have to hold on to those we love and hug daily and always be sure to say ‘I love you.’   I strongly feel there is change  in the air with my mom, too.  I just hope it is good change.

How about trying the quintessential Parisian experience this weekend : the « Guinguette ». The banks of the Marne just outside Paris are famous for their riverside cafés which spread out on the grass along the river and feature old-fashioned summer balls. Flowery summer dresses flirting with berets, checkered cotton tablecloths, the sounds of laughter, friends playing cards to a background of light accordeon music… you can’t help getting caught up in the joyous ambiance. Sitting under shady trees, you clink your glass of white wine with your neighbour’s as you listen to the refrains of an accordeon. A few mussels and French fries later, you just have to jump onto the dancefloor to waltz the night out.

Just another perfect summer night in Paris. (In my opinion, it beats bird sized  mosquitoes in the Northwoods any day.)

(taken from an e-advertisment from My Little Paris)