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Monday Thoughts

Emily

*Today is one of those days-I woke up in a funk and feel a subtle cloud of sadness over me that just won’t lift.  I’m not sure where it’s coming from or what sets it off.  I’m feeling so emotional these days…I cry at the drop of a hat and get angry over the smallest things. I think peri-menopause is rearing it’s ugliness in my head and I don’t like it.   Pain makes me sad and I’ve been suffering with very arthritic knees.  They bother me and keep me from doing the simplest things.  I actually had to drop a yoga class because I couldn’t do the positions.  What a bummer to be hindered by my joints.  Today my knees were really sore  and it’s affecting my mood.  Could it be related?

*We are all where we are for a reason.  The person we are (shape, sex, caste, race, etc.) is who we are intended to be for a specific purpose.  Learn to accept who you are and love yourself.  Be yourself-everyone else is taken.

*I need to forgive myself for being overweight.  I struggle with this every day of my life.  It gets me down and depressed.  Despite the fact that I’m curvy and heavy I love myself enough to start cutting myself some slack.  I FORGIVE MYSELF.

*  Be a ‘Life Experience Processor’.   Let the experiences come in and get absorbed by osmosis-whatever, and let them be ‘processed’ internally and then released back into the universe as more positive energy.  Let good come from the bad.  Make yourself a living filter for making this world a better place.  I’m capable of that.

* I have a few preliminary ideas for what I’d like to accomplish in 2013.  Here’s a few of my intentions so far:

a.  Read all of Jane Austen’s novels.

b.  Read all of the Toni Morrison novels I’ve collected from the thrift store.

c.  Learn some French for my trip to Paris next summer.

d.  I want to find my biological family.  Not sure I will succeed, but I want to amp up the search and hopefully find someone who knows of me or knows of my parents who can tell me something about them.

e.  Paint regularly.  

f.  Complete  The Artist’s Way with a few friends.

What are your Monday Thoughts?

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Letter to Emily: My Future Self, 20 Years On

Emily

Dearest Emily….how weird it is to be writing to you in the future, but there are so many  hopes and dreams I have for you.  You are 49 now.  Today is November 14, 2012 and I am feeling so happy right now thinking of the next twenty years and what wonderful things will happen on your life’s  journey toward becoming a wise, mature woman of 70.  May your path have few bumps in it and may the turns in the road always be clear.  I hope your path never becomes foggy, so foggy you have to stop because you can’t continue on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BO95KQv-adk&feature=related

Right now, as a woman on the cusp of turning 50, I know I am no where near as wise as I will be and certainly not in any position to be giving out life advise to a much older person. All I can do is write to you, Emily,  and convey my wishes and hopes for your future the way I see them now at this ‘young’ age. When you think of being old, immediately poor health, achy joints and fading beauty come to mind.  Aging doesn’t have to be that way, even though to some extent some of those things are inevitable.  In an effort to ward off those maladies,  take care of your health now, by seeing the doctor regularly, have  yearly tests done, eat healthy and take supplements to further increase the probability of staying healthy.  Exercise is your number one nemesis right now, but you’re learning to think of it as a friend; and your heart has conveyed to you in the form of palpitations that it loves exercise.  When you  get active, your heart beats completely normally.  If that isn’t a hint from your heart to get moving, I don’t know what is.  So, just go along with it, it knows best.  Get walking and vow to be as active as you can.  Right now you have very sore knees.  I can only imagine that by the time you are 70, you will probably have gotten knee replacements and if so,  I hope you start running.  That would be awesome!   As far as beauty goes, I believe  you have inherited excellent aging genes since most people think you are  younger than you look.  Part of that is attributed to the fact you wear sunblock daily and stay out of the sun as much as you can in the summer.  All you can do is try.  Blueberries-Yes, blueberries are fabulous and by eating them by the handful daily will help you stay young looking and healthy.

In the next twenty years so much can happen.  We will  lose people in our lives due to death or estrangement.  Be kind and giving, but do not tolerate people who make your life miserable, or those who have nothing but negativity to offer you.  Whatever happens, I hope you can endure it and carry on with  life because, after all, that is for best.  Be sure to live each day being happy to be alive and to carve out joy from life doing the things that make you happiest.  It’s so important to have something that we love besides people.   Hobbies, reading, art, and exercise not to mention a dog are wonderful ways to  cultivate joy when we are older and find ourselves with less people around us.   I hope your  family is there for you, available to you and holds you dear until the day you die.  My wish is that your children will look forward to seeing you and want to spend time with you-that you can somehow continue to contribute something positive and memorable to your children as well as your grand kids.  My hope is you won’t become a ditzy old lady who is a burden, but instead one who stays stay sharp and interesting and will grow wise beyond her years.  Be that beautiful old woman with a long white braid that everyone wants  to be around.

May art always be your love, and your joy.  When I think of you getting older, I see you with paint on your hands sitting at an easel, creating large, colorful canvases.  I hope you get that studio of your dreams and are able to paint daily.  But paint for you, not for anyone else.  Just you.  Don’t let anyone’s opinions of what your doing bring you down.  Remember the quote by Andy Warhol,

“Don’t think about making art, just get it done.  Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad, whether they love it or hate it.  While they are deciding, make even more art.”

If you paint on a consistent basis and get yourself out there, there will be people who love your work and will want some of it for themselves.  You will do this, I know it.  And, anyway, how cool is it for your grandchildren to have a grandma who paints cool pictures?   Never stop reading,even though the prescription on your Progressives may get stronger. Write.  I hope to see you blogging well into your seventies, because you have so much to say to the people out there.   Don’t fall into an ‘old lady’  rut-be the modern, hip old woman you really want to be.  Evolve into a juicy crone-that mature woman who’s alive and  flowing with life.  Keep up with what’s going on in the world and for goodness sakes, Em, don’t become a fuddy-duddy.  That falls into the slot of ditzy and remember, we don’t want you to end up anywhere in that category.

I see you travelling to Paris and New York City for extended stays.   Get yourself a little apartment in your favorite city, so you can bring back your family and friends to share with you the places you love the most.  I  hope you can travel to art retreats, and exotic places.  Enjoy your girlfriends and make time for them always.  They will be your safe harbor when all others fail you.  In return, be that reliable, loving source of sanctuary for them.

Live simply, and with intention.  Don’t accumulate a lot of stuff that one day your kids are going to have to deal with .  Surround yourself with just what you need to be comfortable.   You want life to be simple so you don’t have to spend precious time shoveling and shuffling your crap from one corner to the next.  You want your home to be a haven that is easy to take care of so you can get on with the more important things in life like art, friends and family.

I hope you can always have a loving closeness with your husband, or fall in love again some day.  Love keeps us young and alive.  When it goes stale or becomes non existent, it can become a drying up factor in our lives.  Seek out love and make it yours.  Become more spiritual as time goes by.  Pray.  Seek answers.  Never lose your faith because there has to be something beyond this beautiful, mysterious world we live in.  Work on your feeding your soul with creativity, beauty,  love and the Spirit.

Seventy is young and I know you will arrive there ready, willing and able.  How wonderful to have reached this age!  I wish your life to be long and full of love, friendship, faith and family.  I wish you happy holidays full of tradition and new family members.  Don’t be afraid of changing.   I want you to be happy, on a very basic level.  I know with old age can come set backs, but don’t let them get the best of you.  Live life to it’s fullest, drink it dry and then only then will you be ready to leave this life as  a legacy of a woman who lived her life artfully, was like sunshine to those she met, practiced kindness and left a lasting impression on everyone she came in contact with.  I hope they say to themselves, “I want to be like her.”

Here’s to the next twenty years and beyond.  I’ll see you there.

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Dear Emily: Past and Future

Emily

I’m participating in WordPress’ Daily Post blog prompts and thought this one, Write a letter to your 14-year-old self. Tomorrow, write a letter to yourself in 20 years would be interesting to do.  There are many times I think to myself, “If I could only go back in time and tell myself __”_”_”_”  Here’s my chance.  Also, I’m going to write my 69 year old self a letter and send it here, too…  Won’t you write your own letters to yourself, both past and future?  Leave me a comment if you do.   I’d love to read it!

 

Dearest Em,

You really are such a dear, sweet girl.  I’m so proud of you and what you will become as you grow older.  I love your honesty, creatively and your sunshine. You will always be gullable and a little naive. There’s always sunshine around you, not just the golden rays that bounce off your hair, but the ones emanating from you.  You are so lovely inside…don’t lose that.  Because you are so good, there are a few things I must tell you.  I have inside knowledge of just how things are going to go for you and I don’t want you to make the same mistakes twice.  Keep this letter in your jewelry box and read it often.  Remember how good, kind, smart and important you are.  

Never let anyone, especially  the kids you go to school with make you feel bad about yourself, or make you feel self conscious in any way.  They are fools to treat you like that and you can’t let what they say affect you in a negative way.  Let it roll off your back and to the floor.  I repeat, do not let what they say to you sink in.  You are wonderful.  And when people look at you they are not thinking negative thoughts about your facial features or how fat you are.  They are going to remember the  way you made them feel.  Always be like sunshine as much as you can.

Emily, you are so young.  I know Larry is a fun, exciting boyfriend but sweetie, you need to just be ‘Emily’ for a while and develop who you are as a person.   Boyfriends can be as much trouble as they are fun.  You need to  enjoy your freedom for a few years longer and then think about getting serious.  The best thing for you, dear girl, is to date many boys and see which one fits you the best.  Find someone who makes you laugh :(trust me…he needs to laugh at you and you at him.  Boy, do I know!) and tells you how wonderful and artistic and amazing you are.  And do the same back for him, because boys love to be appreciated just as much as us girls.  Oh, and when Larry pouts and withdraws when he doesn’t get his way-well, just turn around and ignore him because it doesn’t matter anyway.  Don’t let yourself get caught up in people pleasing because it only hurts one person and that is you.  It really, really hurts you so stop doing it.  NOW.   And if he lets you go because you won’t play the game, then so be it-he wasn’t worth it in the first  place.  But if he pays attention to what you are doing and changes, then that will be a good thing.  You have to train them early.  Either way Em, go ahead and meet other boys and try them on for size.  The perfect fit will come to you and you will find a good one.  Oh and that kid Jim Phistry in high school really likes you but is too shy to ask you out.  Go up to him and be friendly and tell him you’d love to go for lunch.  Watch how surprised he is when you ask him!  You can thank me later.  🙂

It’s so important to exercise and stay active.  Over the years pounds creep up and before we know it, life becomes a daily struggle to lose weight.  Read about calories now and don’t  over eat.  Food never tastes as good as being slender feels.  I know you will obsess and fuss and think about how you want to be thinner and you can avoid that now by not allowing yourself to gain too much weight as you get older.  The biggies:  Sugar and bread.  Watch it kiddo.  And don’t be lazy.  Learn to like being active and train yourself now to walk and maybe even run.  Be active daily and you will be thin when you are middle aged.   And watch out for those ‘all you can eat’ restaurants.  They will be the reason you gain unwanted weight.  

Emily, you are only 14 now, but you will be 19 before you know it.  I’m so sad to say you won’t have your sweet dad for very long.  He will get very sick by the time you are 18.  You need to spend time with him. Quality time-Laugh, hug, and talk to him.  Play board games with him.  Visit the museums and go on Sunday outings with him.  Find out everything, and remember as much as you can about him.  Find a way to record his voice so you will always be able to hear it.  Save his letters to you so 30 years from now when you are still missing him you can pull them out and read his words to you over and over again as much as you need to hear them.  Treat him nice and be patient with him even on those days when he gets grouchy.  You won’t have him long and you must savor every moment, both good and not so great.  I know this is sad news, but I had to tell you.  Now that you know, you can make the best of what you have left with him.

You will have your mom for a long time.  Try to better your relationship with her so you won’t want move out at such a young age.  Remember,as much as it doesn’t seem like it at times, she really, really does love you.  It’s just the way she was raised.  She can’t help it.  Be the better person and understand.  She needs you more than you can imagine.  

The best thing I can tell you now Em is to just take your time growing up.  Remember you are so important and you are the only person you have to answer to in this life.  Do what’s best for Emily, but not at the sake of others.  Be a good, empathetic, caring person.  But don’t sacrifice yourself or what you want because others might make you feel bad for wanting those things.  Nothing you want is bad.  But you have a right to be the person you dream and hope  to be and let no one keep you from that dream.  If they try to stop you or shame you then they aren’t worth knowing in the first  place.   Most importantly, you need to be able to support yourself with out a man.  You never want to have to feel forced to stay in a bad relationship because you have no other  way to support yourself than staying with someone who makes you miserable and unhappy.  Don’t be eager to get married so young.  Go to college.  Get an apartment.  BE EMILY.  Get a good job and be self-supporting.  Then, and only then, should you decide to marry.  It’s okay to say no.  Learn to say no before you are 40.  It will do you a world of good, my dear.

You have some friends from  grammar school who you don’t see much of now but they will be your best gal pals when you are in your 40’s and beyond…can you believe that?  Laura Paul, Cindy M.,  and Sharon T. will be there for you.  It’s hard to imagine but they will!  

Now, get on with your life and kiss your dad on the top of his bald head and tell him you (we) love him.  Remember what I’ve said to you and use this letter as a guide to get through life.  You’re gonna need it, so tuck it under that little white box in your jewelry chest and don’t lose it.   Oh, and one last thing….never stop praying and loving God.  He will  be there for you.  You’ve got the love to see you through.

I love you!

–Your Guardian E.

You and Laura…still friends to the end!
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In a nick of time………I’d spend it with my father.

Emily

 

If there were such a thing as time travel I would certainly get in line for it.  I wish I were able to go back and spend time with my father.  Certainly there are many places and events and people from the past I find fascinating and believe would be fantastic to see and explore, but none would delight me more than zooming back to Chicago, circa 1979, and visit my dad again.  He’s been gone for 30 years now and I still miss him terribly.  If I were able to get a ticket for that Time Machine, I’d turn the clock back to August 29th, the day he turned 50-the age I will be on my next birthday.  

How incredible it would be to face each other at the same age.  My visit would precede his lung cancer.  It would enable me to get to know my father from an adult perspective, a part of him I didn’t’ get to know before he died.  For the first time we would be two adults having a deep conversation and exploring all the interesting things I never got to discuss with him. I would want to talk about and learn of things that help fill in the gaps of my own life. I would use that time to tell him all the things I would love for him to know about my life, my family, and specifically how he has impacted my life in such a large way even though our time together had been cut so short.

The questions would be abundant.  After finding out I was adopted at 37, I would ask him why he swore family and friends to secrecy so I wouldn’t learn about being adopted.  I’d question, “Are you my biological father?  Why did you adopt me, of all the children available that needed homes?  Who was my biological mother?”

And by the way, dad…do you know that I absolutely adore you?  I love you and I’ve missed you so much through all these years since you’ve been gone.

I’d be delighted to stay home with him.  I’d pay attention to every detail of his face, etching it in my mind as not to forget.   I no longer remember the sound of my dad’s voice.  It’s incredibly sad to me.  If I were blessed with a chance to go back, I’d record long conversations between he and I and keep them forever. Never again would the sound of his voice allude me.

What would we talk about?  I’d tell him my troubles.  Everything. And I’d ask him for guidance and to help me figure out how to solve problems in my life and my marriage that  still haunt me.  I’d cry, and laugh and divulge everything to him.  We would discuss everything.  I’d hold his hand and look into his eyes and once again tell him how special and wonderful he is.  We would bake Houska  bread and drink lots of coffee.  We would pick the dahlia’s and gladiolas and make pretty arrangements for the table.  I’d show him pictures of my kids and tell him about their lives.  I would tell him how much I love art, show him my paintings and maybe even paint with him.  We would talk about mom and how she suffered at the end of her life.  And I wouldn’t go to sleep for fear when I woke up he’d be gone.

Finally, we would have our photo taken together and forever I’d have something tangible of the two of us together once again at 50.  Father and daughter, two people who adored each other and were together again for just a little bit, but it felt like a lifetime.

I miss you dad…and I love you.  Have I told you that enough?Image

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Life Principles are a Personal Thing. What are Yours?

Emily

A little while  back I was trying to help a friend with some integrity issues in her life.   I explained to her that to not live chaotically, you have to have principles you follow throughout your life that guide you.  The principles I am referring to are like deeply ingrained reactions to what life dishes out on a daily basis, if you will.  By the  time a person is middle aged, these precepts should be well figured out and be a guide for living your life.  They should be a large part of what makes us who we are.  I don’t believe my friend has given much thought to her own set of personal truths, but our conversation caused me to want to take inventory of my own and earmark them for a closer look.  I thought I’d share mine with you and hopefully, you’ll feel compelled to take stock of your own.   

1. I try to always be honest-I cannot say I never lie, but I almost always tell the truth-at least about the things that matter.  I’d say the color of my off lies are white.

2.  I never take something that isn’t mine or I didn’t pay for. -Never. Ever.  I simply couldn’t sleep if I did.  I have been known to go back in stores to pay for items that went unnoticed under my cart, or if the cashier didn’t charge me for something I point it out so the item is sure to be included.  Give me more change than I deserve?  You are getting the balance back.

3.  I try to always be kind-(I’ll be honest, menopause has made this more difficult lately)-I try to always be sunshiny-smile, be friendly, considerate of others, apologize when I do wrong, and in general be lovable and positive.

4.  I try to always be trustworthy. This includes trying to always stick to plans, commitments, favors and promises made with people.  One of my biggest pet peeves is poo poo promisers.

5.  Live artfully.  It’s a part of who I am to use every opportunity to implement creativity.  I thrive on it.  Being artistic makes my heart happy.

6.  I strive to live simply, to be humble and unpretentious-We all know no one likes someone who is haughty, snobbish and uppity.  It’s important to me to be genuine and to surround myself with likewise folks.

7.  I always honor God-I pray and know God is there.  I never take Him for granted.

8.  I always love myself-I take care of myself, live artfully, make time for family and friends and I don’t allow people to treat me  badly.  I have enough self respect and self love to stand up for what is right in my eyes.  I make it a point to chase my dreams.

9.  I just laugh if something’s funny.  I don’t scrutinize the validity of my sense of humor.  I think laughing is one of those things that is essential to living a healthier, long life.  Laugh till you cry, or till your stomach hurts.  It’s all good.

10.  Treat animals with respect and compassion.   I use a gentle touch, a kind voice and have good intention.  It’s important to make a spiritual connection with an animal.  Treat them with love.

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An Analogy on Grief

Emily

Found this comment on reddit years ago. I post it in most threads where I see someone has lost a loved one. Hope it helps you as much as it did me. If you have lost someone dear to you, I hope this is something that you can draw some comfort from.

 

“Alright, here goes. I’m old. What that means is that I’ve survived (so far) and a lot of people I’ve known and loved did not. I’ve lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can’t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here’s my two cents.

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to “not matter”. I don’t want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gorged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can’t see.

As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.”

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Annie, my only mom…I will miss you.

Emily

Today is August 9th and it is just now that I feel ready to blog again.  It’s been a long, hot summer.  Preceding this sweltering couple of months I suffered a sadness I had not felt for almost 30 years.  I watched for six long weeks-with unwavering hope- that my mom would recover from an extensive open heart surgery she had on April 3rd.   She lingered in the hospital, suffering from kidney failure, breathing problems and a heart that just wouldn’t heal.   On May 21, 2012, my mom gave up her fight and passed away.

My mom and her husband John, my step dad. This was taken in December, her last Christmas.
I impulsively took this photo of my mom just before they took her into heart surgery. It is the last photo of her able to sit up and fairly normal. She never recovered and was unable to sit up or walk again.

We prayed and prayed.  We had a few glimmers of hope, but it was not to be.   It was very sad.  It was very spiritual.  It was emotionally and physically grueling for us to watch.  By the end of April, I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown from the stress and despair I was  feeling.  I had never felt so on the brink of losing my mind.   Eventually I worked it out and cried a lot and did whatever I could do to work through the harsh reality that my mom was dying.  I took photos.  I decided that I wanted to document my mom’s journey for my own memory.

If you are a reader of my blog you may have seen the tribute I wrote about my mom a few years back for Mother’s Day.  I’m so glad she got to see this.  I had many chances to tie up loose ends with her, talk about things and tell her what I wanted her to know in the event she did not make it through the surgery.  A few weeks before my mom had her surgery, she was in the hospital and I came to see her and it was just the two of us.  I came in the  evening  and I ended up staying after visiting hours till 10:30pm.  We had such a close, tender conversation.  We shared tears and love and it  made my heart happy to have had this moment in time to keep forever with her while she was sitting up and able to still get around.

My mom told me she had to take a chance at the heart surgery because without it, she wouldn’t last too long because her heart was inevitably going to stop working. This was her only chance and she had to risk it.  She suffered from aortic stenosis that was so progressed, she would get winded just walking across the room.  Her life had come to a complete standstill.  She was a shadow of her former self and she hated it.  Prior to her illness, she was a firecracker of a lady-spunky,  energetic, and sassy.  She was a career waitress, and worked hard her whole life.  She and my dad, a blue collar factory worker, had pooled their resources their entire lives to have the little house of ours on Kilbourn-a little cracker box of a home on a Chicago city lot, but it was a house of love, and it was good, and I am so grateful I had it and these people in my life to love me.

It is now two and a half months since I buried my mom and I have had my moments of sadness.  They come in waves and because menopause is beginning to wind it’s roots  in my soul, the grief comes on stronger and at times without warning.  Writing helps.  I want to push through this sadness and carry on.  I have so many good memories and so much more to tell you all.  You see, Annie was the only mother I ever knew.  I had another mother-the woman who gave birth to me.  I found out when I was 37 years old I was adopted.  Quite a shock, it was.  But that just makes my love for my mom that much more.  Even though, from the very beginning, I worked my way into her heart, she loved me as if she had carried me under her heart.   And for that, I will love her always.

My three sons carry their grandma’s casket. She would be so proud of them for doing that for her.

The day before my mom died, the nurse told me that she was calling out to her parents.  She referred to them as, “Momma & Daddy”.  She was from the South and had called them that until they died.  I know my grandparents were in her hospital room waiting for her so they could walk with her when she passed.  I was so thrilled to hear this-to know they were there for her and she wasn’t alone.  I know she missed them so much.  Now they are together once again.  And, after learning my mom had seen her parents… for the first time in a long time, I had a renewed sense of hope.

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Come on, come on get healthy!

Emily

Holy goodness, I just realized I haven’t blogged since the first week of March.  Lame.  No excuse.  I’m just totally busy with life.  So many things are going through my mind-I’ve been dreaming about the future, worrying, stressing and trying to pull out my usual positive attitude which is almost always right there in my center, beneath my heart.  It’s coming.  It’s there.  I’m just going through a little rough spot now but all will be well soon.  Nothing ever gets the best of me.  In the mean time, I have changed my eating habits and have begun eliminating excessive sugars from my diet and now I eat powerhouse foods that are made up of disease fighting antioxidants.  In addition, I’m now  focused on slimming down naturally without stress or pressure on myself.  I wanted to share with you the few changes I’ve made and I hope you, too, will begin to eat more healthy and make those changes a way of life, to keep weight off and disease away.   Here’s what I do:

 

1.  Fage brand plain Greek yogurt in the morning and evening as a snack with Stevia as a sweetener, a 1/2 tsp of cinnamon and a handful of fresh, organic blueberries.

2.  Less coffee and in place of it I sip black tea and green tea with Stevia.  I also like lots of water.

3.  I watch my sugar intake carefully and don’t consume much of it any more.

4.  I eat a lot of fresh veggies like brussles sprouts, bok choy, cabbage  and broccoli-cooked, of course!

5.  I love red seedless grapes as snacks.  They are so delicious, and they help stave off dementia and help my heart.

6.  I snack on a handful of nuts like Brazil nuts and walnuts.  Both amazingly healthy for you.

(Please check with your doctor before you consume any of these foods, be wary of allergies to foods.)

These are the few changes I’ve made and so far and I know they’ve made me feel and look healthier and more energetic. Not only that, these dietary changes have lessened the amount of calories I take in which has been a benefit in the weight loss column.  Slowly I’ve taken off 27lbs since  last May.  I am happy.

What changes have you made to get healthier?  Let me know…I need some new suggestions!

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My newest painting ala Flora Bowley style

Emily

I am in the fifth and final week of Flora Blowley’s first online painting course, Bloom True.  I have wished for and anticipated this class for many months and I was not disappointed.  It was so well thought out, organized and very professionally done with videos of her painting and demonstrating the techniques every week.  I learned so much and I had an interesting  time learning her very freeing way to paint using intuition as my guide.  I have another canvas in the works that isn’t complete yet, but this one is the large 4′ X 5′ stretched canvas that has me feeling very proud and pleased in what I have accomplished.  I can’t wait to begin more canvases using her techniques while spinning my own style within them.

I’m calling this one Undaunted .  Click on the photo to get a better look.