Just in case your momma didn’t tell you….

Okay, I have to write this post. I’m getting older, closer to menopause and very intolerant of people who are totally inconsiderate of others. Lately I’ve had a series of disappointing interactions with grown adults who seem to have never learned good manners.  I’m sick to death of people who are total assholes so completely self absorbed they don’t even begin to think about the reprocussions their actions have on others.  Nor do many of them care.  See the strikeout and you’ll know why.  I’m sure many of you have experienced these same incidents and have been equally as bothered as I am. As incredulous as I am that people can be so ignorant of these common courtesies, I do realize I, too, am not perfect, having fallen off the wagon many times myself. And I certainly have been guilty of the following at times, too, but I do really try to not commit these things.  Regardless, I feel compelled to say it, so here it goes:

1. Say “Thank You” and be grateful to someone who is doing you an enormous favor or good deed, despite how much you may resent the favor or the situation that brings about the favor. This failing, for me, falls under the “No good deed goes unpunished” column.

2. Providing it’s not a spammer or someone you really dislike (in which case you should make it clear you aren’t interesting in corresponding-hey, we are adults here), if you get an email from someone and they are clearly hoping for a reply or at least the courtesy of some kind of indication that you received their email,  please respond back in a very timely manner. If you can’t write back a lengthy reply at that moment, send a quick note back saying you received their email and you didn’t forget about them and you will (try to) reply at length later on, or the next day or whenever you can make the time. Don’t leave people hanging. It’s damn rude.

3. If you haven’t got something good to say-shut up. No one wants to be subjected to your negativity.

4.  Don’t be a “Poo Poo Promiser.”   When you say you are going to be somewhere or do something for or with someone-do it, unless there’s something really urgent keeping you from following through.  Especially, don’t cancel at the last minute-I’m referring to those times when you just don’t feel like doing it.  Give some notice.   When I was much younger I was guilty of doing this exact thing.  I was a bad poopoo promiser-primarily because when I was growing up people in my life thought nothing of doing it to me.  It was the way I was raised.  My mother in law broke me of this really awful habit by calling me on it (very angrily, I might add) when I did it to her.  She  made me realize how wrong it is to do that to someone.  As a result, now I try very hard to always do what I say I’m going to do.  I’m still not perfect, but I’m continually working on it.   This brings me to my next point…

5.  If you don’t want to do something, don’t say you will just because you are too cowardly to say you don’t want to.  Remember Nancy Reagan’s slogan, “Just say no.”  It doesn’t always pertain to drug use…it’s a helpful phrase you can apply to daily life, too.  Be firm and say what you mean.  It took me till the age of 40 to finally say “NO” to solicitors trying to sell me magazines at my door.  

6.  Unless your mother (or father) is a serial killer, sexual deviate, abusive or dead-call them despite how much they piss you off or how much they drive you crazy.  They need you more than you think and you just might be surprised at how much you might need them.  And if you definately refuse to associate with your living parent, don’t have your hand out when they die.  That’s just unscrupulous.

7.  Oh yeah, and about your childhood?   Get over it.  (I’m speaking in generalities here, not to those who’ve suffered terrible abuse (of any kind) at the hands of a very sick adult.  Obviously, those are exceptions that should not be made light of.) 

My mom always said, “What goes around, comes around,” and she usually said that when someone had wronged her or someone else.  I do believe this is so true.  Don’t let Karma bite you in the butt.  If you have any of these annoying habits, maybe think about taking a look inward and consider working on improving yourself.  It’s so frustrating to deal with people who are totally inconsiderate. I’m still working on my bad habits…..So there, I’ve said it!

Let me know what kinds of things you’ve experienced in your life that really annoys you about other people… (Possibly very blunt bloggers who just SAY IT like me, lol!)

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5 thoughts on “Just in case your momma didn’t tell you….

  1. This reminds me of the past week when I was in the Costco car line pumping gas. Watching an elderly gentleman unable to get the credit card machine to read his card, I ask if I can help. After my 3 attempts he’s finally able to pump gas. Behind me a driver is now complaining to the Cotsco employee that I need to move my car immediately even though the space to move through will likely result in my car getting side scrapped. I said I wouldn’t move until the man was done.

    Regarding Moms-Your mother is your mother. Cutting this person out of your life sends a wrong message to your children. Learning how to manage, create healthy boundaries and finding the good in them is not only therapeutic, but kind.

  2. Common sense it appears has gone by the wayside in this new world of immediacy. Really; what you need to say is so important, that while in line at … or anywhere for that matter, people continue to carry on conversations on their cell phones while placing their orders or paying for their goods. I don’t want to hear about your life or your work while standing behind you, not to mention just how totally RUDE it is the employee of the establishment. Hang up the phone, and say hello or thank you to the person assisting you.

  3. I know what you’re saying Em, seems like the society in general is becoming more rude and inconsiderate. There have been many incidents for me too but the one that really got to me was job interviews.

    It used to be that when you didn’t get the job, they either call you or send a sorry letter to let you know. These days, nothing! Even after they say they would call but instead, you get the cold shoulder treatment. I understand about not having the time to respond to every single applicant but I think a phone call or an email isn’t too much to ask, especially when I drove over 1000 miles for the interview.

    But unfortunately, I don’t think things will get better and will only get worse. Especially as the technology gets more advance and people continue dealing with each other through impersonal social network contacts, like facebook, twitter etc.

  4. I have said this for years. We, well many of us, are rude and dont even know it. It makes me sad, when I think of being a kid saying yes mamn, yes sir. Now they look at ya funny if you say that. People are rude to their kids and rude to each other.
    there are so many shows on tv that are rude and our grandchildren see it as normal.
    I find myself getting snippy or rude I try to make amends, dont always do it soon enough
    , but try.

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