Some Monday evening thoughts…

I let way too much time lapse between blog posts.  I definately need to change things. 

I made a simple new  year’s resolution.  It’s based on a one word theme and that word is UNDAUNTED.  I even purchased a sterling silver ring with my word etched onto it to serve as a constant reminder of how I aim to be.  I found myself in a few situations already where I faced my husband in an arguement and instead of getting discouraged, I looked down at my ring, read my word and told myself to soldier on.  It really does work!  You might try adopting this one word resolution yourself.  Here’s where I first read about it.  Think of your word and let me know what it is.

This year there are some decisions I’d like to make about seeking out a real career, something I have never had.  I love art and after this spring semester, I will finally have my Bachelor of Fine Arts degree.  I’d love to take this midlife time and follow my dreams.  Sometimes I get feelings of guilt and begin to think it’s selfish of me (why?) to want this, but then  I often think to myself how I only have this one life.  While my life does encompass dealing with a husband and five kids, three of the five are grown.  I have 2 in full time school and I feel the time has arrived for me to look to a career outside my home so I can continue to grow into an interesting woman who can make a postive impact on the world.  

I’m beginning to worry myself sick wondering if I’ll be hireable at 47, and 50 if I go back to school and get a masters degree in Art Therapy or Art Education.  I am praying and asking God to send me in the direction He thinks I will be best suited.  Oddly enough, very recently I’ve been getting urges to help in humanitarian ways like through the Red Cross.  I look at the problems in Haiti and wish I could be there doing something physical to help those poor people.  Maybe this strong urge I feel deep inside is  a ‘soul pull’  from God…an answer to what I’ve been praying for.  My friend Rhonda asked me the other night  where I think these strong urges are coming from and my first thought was God.  Maybe.   Have you experienced something like this?  Has God answered your prayers in such a direct, obvious way? 

Now, for my not so nice behavior.  I put this note on the windshield of a fancy LEXUS SUV in my Old Navy parking lot that had been strattling the yellow line taking up two parking spaces. 

       “How greedy can you be, ASSHOLE?  One parking spot PER car!”

It infuriates me when self- important people feel they can be inconsiderate towards others  by taking up two parking spots for their overpriced vehicles.  I know I can’t change the world, and maybe if it had been a different day I would have let it roll off my back, but darn it, I think they deserved it.  Am I being self-important by lettting this bother me?

I’m thinking of doing The Artist’s Way writing exercises.   I wish I could find a few folks to do this with.  It’s more fun in a group.

Last Friday I carved some quality time out of my day to create this collage.  I’m very pleased with it.

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Some Monday evening thoughts…

  1. Heavens Emily what an utterly inspiring post! The ring is the part that has most impressed me, how fabulous to even think of wearing your word as a constant reminder…

    May the whole of 2010 be as creative as your January.x

  2. Hey Em~Good for you for thinking about you and taking care of you. So many of us get lost in the “taking care of” thing with husbands and children that we forget to take care of ourselves. This is the age where I too, surveyed my life and thought, ‘Where have I been? Where am I going?’ and I knew it was time for changes.

  3. Great post; love it! Just recently picked up the book “A Weekend to Change your life” by Joan Anderson. The blurb on the front says…find your authentic self after a lifetime of being all things to all people! Kinda sounds like what you’re talking about.
    Love your ‘word’ and your ring! and love your collage!

  4. Great ring! Great word!

    Congrats on graduating soon! Age is in your mind – my mom got her BA at 50, her Master’s at 53.

    I do believe that when you feel strong urges toward something, if it’s the right thing for you, God or the universe will set in motion events that lead you there. As long as you listen. Things that I can’t explain have pulled together for me in the past to bring me where I’m supposed to be.

  5. Hi ((Em))) I am so proud of you..going back to finish your degree? oh sistah you so rock..I know how out of your comfort zone you must have felt…Watching your relationship & growth with God is beautiful. You question where you think he wants you to be?….He used you as a vessel for me that I know you still dont understand but need to trust….by you being you..you ‘pulled’ my soul…you touched me..if we dont “touch” each other than who?
    Please let me know if you want to explore pulling something together studying Julia Camerons The Artists Way..Im very willing & have some experience…Im so in. Dont hide that Light of yours shining for all to see.
    (((Kat)))

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