I was thinking of how I’d make some definate changes if I were to rule the world. Here are some of my ideas. I hope they don’t offend anyone, and if they do, I apologize in advance, but I remind you this is my blog, so I will express myself accordingly. It’s all in fun, so here goes.
If I ruled the world…
1. Celebrities and professional athletes would not be paid the exhorborant salaries they are paid today. That is just plain ridiculous in my book of how the world should work. Now, I understand in this free society, there’s such a thing called Capitalism, and my way would go against the very thing Capitalism stands for, but I don’t care. They make WAYYY too much money. There would be salary caps on Celebs, CEOS and Athletes. Celebritites would get paid well, but the movie stars in my world would be required to be egomaniacs who would be satisfied just from getting their face on People or Us magazine, and would work mainly for the notoriety. Sports players would be in their business for the love of the game and for the simple fact they could get paid quite well for doing something they love to do. Athletic ability would remain the same as now. Ego-maniac athletes would have an added plus, they’d get to see themselves on TV.
—
The people who had brains and ran the cities and took care of infrastructure and the scientists and researchers would be paid more than the celebrities. After all, they use their brains for a greater good to help everyone. Frivolous celebrities are less important. They just entertain us.
—
2. In my world, the bank wouldn’t charge bounced check fees if you overdrew your account a miniscule amount of money like say, $1.29. In fact, in my world, the bounced check fee would only kick in after you overdrew your account starting at $200. I am so irked by how banks can just zap us a fee for the tiniest mistake. It makes me want to hide my money in a mattress. In my world, this wouldn’t be a bother for any one.
—
3. In my world, the drinking age would be the same as the age a person is considered old enough to go to war, leave home, get a tattoo, and be considered an adult for all legal purposes. This crap of being old enough to get married yet you can’t drink liquor legally at your wedding is for the sparrows. In my world, the legal age for becoming and official adult and also be legal to drink would be 20. Not 21. Twenty. As soon as you’re done being a teenager, the next year when the digit rolls over to 2, you are offically a grown up who can drink. End. Of. Story.
—
4. Although I love shopping, in my world, there would be less stores and more restaurants. There especially wouldn’t be retail strips built willynilly so they could sit empty for years, going unoccupied because the retail market is saturated with more storefronts than it needs. There would be more eating establishments with healthy food.
—
5. The driving age would be upped to 20. I believe 16 year old teenagers are just as dangerous on the road as elderly people who can’t see or hear and drive way too slow for conditions. 16 year olds in Blondie’s world are simply too squirlley to get behind the wheel.
—
6. Wholesome-ness would be reinstituted. No more MTV, SEX IN YOUR FACE on TV and potty humor. We would revert things back to when something was left to the imagination and we could confidently watch television with our kids without fear of a sex scene sneaking its way in without warning. Let’s have a rebirth of the 1950’s.
—
7. No gangsta pants allowed. Definately no asses hanging out of their pants. Yuck.
—
8. Facial tattoos wouldn’t be allowed.
—
9. Money that would normally be handed over to celebrities who are overpaid for their work would be poured into research for the obvious cancer, diabetes and other ailments. In addition, research would be intensified to create a pill that when taken, burned 1000 calories a day, aiding in effortless weight loss. And, when a person reached the weight they desire, another pill would be taken daily to maintain the new weight loss.
—
10. Fat women would be the sex symbols, not skinny waifs.
—
11. People who tortured then killed animals would be put to death. People who killed children would be put to death. End. of. story.
—
12. People would be allowed 1 year sabbattical to pursue their dreams and bliss.
—
13. When people reached a ripe old age or were so sick they couldn’t be cured/ or were in a coma or vegitative state, they would be allowed to be put to sleep with the same dignity they give their pets. People shouldn’t have to suffer for a lengthy period of time or be a burdon to others, especially if they WANT to die. It’s a person’s right in my world.
—
14. In my world, all food would be organic.
—
15. In my world, you could only buy the light bulbs that were flourescent. There wouldn’t be a choice. Same goes for all other products. The energy efficient/green choice would be the only choice.
—
16. In poor countries, it would be mandatory for adults to take birth control, until the hunger problem was contained, fixed and people fed.
—
17. There wouldn’t be as many style trends or fashion rules. My world is an artsy one, and I’d encourage individuals to dress the way that expresses their creativity. Well, within reason, that is. Mostly, we wouldn’t be allowed to be slaves to fashion because in reality, it isn’t that important.
—
18. We would stress that people seek their bliss, find joy and seek contentment, as long as their bliss, joy and contentment didn’t come from hurting others or being difficult to society. Unhappiness is difficult to tolerate and would be discouraged. This will be a happy place! Zanax would arrive monthly in people’s mailboxes.
—
19. Flowers would be everywhere. Especially fragrant lavender.
—-
20. No Viagra in my world. When women reach menopause, they’ve got much better, more interesting things to ‘do’ than their aging husbands.
—
How would the world be if YOU ran it? Blog about it!
Why Jane 
I wish YOU ruled the world…
LikeLike
Well, I am glad that was all in fun, Em. ;-))) I’ve often had a few of those same wishes, but just sayin, in the fifties you could not use the word “ass” in print unless you were talking about a donkey. Frankly, I’d be happy to abolish all Viagra ads. Those are getting really annoying, and it’s a constant reminder that men always get the toys, don’t they?
LikeLike
P.S. – just askin’, when’s the last time you visited the blogs of everyone on your blog email list? Meow….
LikeLike
LOVE IT! I want that pill to burn all those calories away… let me know if you find it!
LikeLike
I motion for Em to be the new world leader! Anyone second my motion? I gotta give a big hear, hear on the viagra ads! I was watching a science show with my kids the other day and guess what? They now have learned a little about erectile dysfunction…isn’t that special. I should know better than to go to the bathroom on the commercial breaks…silly me!
LikeLike
you should rule the world!
i’m with ya on the bank fees. it’s so freakin ridiculous.
i’m all about the fat girls being sex symbols too!
LikeLike
Awsome post, Em!! I really enjoyed reading this! My favorite has to be # 20!!
LikeLike
We were charged $70 for being overdrawn by SEVEN CENTS week before last when we’re supposedly enrolled in overdraft protection! lol (We got the $ refunded and are now officially enrolled in overdraft protection – yeah, I’ve heard that before and will believe if I see it). Great post!
LikeLike
Can I come and live in your world ? haha
ps. I love your blog and am a regular reader .
LikeLike
I hope this was in jest. For someone who is wishing for the wholsome 50’s, you have quite a case of “potty mouth.”
LikeLike
There goes old “Anonymous” again.
I wrote an “If I were boss of the world” piece about ten years. I didn’t put it out for the world to see because it is quite a bit more severe than yours!
I’ll help you bitch slap the people you designate!
Lynn
LikeLike
Hey, I loved the blog. It was awesome. I agree with most if not all of yours and have a few of my own to add.
Love it….Love it…Love it!
LikeLike
I agree with a lot of the things you said except the light bulb thing. They really aren’t that green – they contain a ton of mercury. Where I live – the beach – we are thinking of banning them from the landfills and actually charging people to dispose of them cause they pose such a risk.
I can also think of a few other things –
neighbor hood schools, quit busing our kids everywhere…
A five day work week – period.
Jailtime for adulterers. That ought to wake some people up. Should I go on?
LikeLike